[Verse 1] I swear I can feel gravity pulling my skin, Like the whole damn earth is determined to win. My head weighs a hundred, my shoulders ache too, And my bones can’t remember what they’re supposed to do. I should probably eat, I should probably hydrate, But getting up takes more than I’ve got left today. There’s salt by the bed, but it’s too far away, And I know that sounds stupid—I don’t know what to say. [Pre-Chorus] And I know what tired is, this isn’t the same, This is losing the rules to a body I can’t tame. It’s my heart going fast while the rest of me crawls, Like somebody hit go while every system stalls. [Chorus] I’m tired past sleeping, I’m worn past rest, My heart won’t slow down while there’s lead in my chest. Everything hurts and I’m trying to cope, And standing feels stupidly close to a joke. I’m not being brave, I don’t need to push through, I’m too fucking tired to make meaning for you. So I’m breathing, I’m hurting, I’m letting it be— For the moment, existing is taking everything out of me. [Verse 2] Yesterday I forgot I was keeping a score, I just stood when I wanted, then stood a bit more. I laughed and I danced and I sang every word, Got lost in the music, forgot that it hurt. And I’d do it again, which is probably insane, I’d borrow tomorrow to live that way again. But today every movement is asking a price, And I wish something beautiful didn’t have to cost twice. [Pre-Chorus 2] And I know I chose joy, I’d choose it again, That’s the part that’s so hard to explain to my friends. I don’t regret going, I just hate what I pay, When a few hours of living takes all of the next day. [Chorus] I’m tired past sleeping, I’m worn past rest, My heart won’t slow down while there’s lead in my chest. Everything hurts and I’m trying to cope, And standing feels stupidly close to a joke. I’m not being brave, I don’t need to push through, I’m too fucking tired to make meaning for you. So I’m breathing, I’m hurting, I’m letting it be— For the moment, existing is taking everything out of me. [Bridge] And I’m tired of measuring life by the chair, By how long I can stand, by what’s close, what’s upstairs. I’m tired of asking what joy I can afford, How much of tomorrow I’m willing to mortgage for more. I don’t want to be careful, I want to be there, I want joy without debating what I can spare. I want one fucking moment that doesn’t require Deciding how much of myself I can set on fire. [Final Chorus] I’m tired past sleeping, I’m worn past rest, My heart won’t slow down while there’s lead in my chest. Everything hurts and I’m trying to cope, And standing feels stupidly close to a joke. I’m not being brave, I don’t need to push through, There’s nothing left in me I’m trying to prove. So I’m breathing, I’m hurting, I’m letting it be— For the moment, existing is taking everything out of me.
