[INTRO — scat, upbeat, jingle energy] Ba-da-ba-bap-ba-doo-wah! Just click the button, honey, don't you think twice Ba-da-ba-bap — free shipping — so nice! [VERSE 1] The logo looks a little off The stitching's coming loose But eighty percent off the price What's there left to lose? Made in America — it says so right there Honduras is in America So why should you care? [PRE-CHORUS] The reviews are mostly five stars (The two-stars got removed) You've got a cart full of maybe And a credit card to use— [CHORUS] Add to cart, add to cart Ba-doo-wah, don't be smart! Free shipping, no catch Bada-bap — perfect match! Eighty percent off today The deal won't wait— Just checkout, checkout, checkout Before it's too late! [VERSE 2] Now there's a little bag inside your purse White powder — don't you fret Don't open it, don't smell it Just give it to José He'll come around at seven He knows your address too How'd he get your address? Girl, he got it when you checked out, boo [PRE-CHORUS] The app said it was free samples (Premium wellness blend) Just hand it off and smile, girl And the discount never ends— [CHORUS] Add to cart, add to cart Ba-doo-wah, don't be smart! Free shipping, no catch Bada-bap — perfect match! Eighty percent off today The deal won't wait— Just checkout, checkout, checkout Before it's too late! [BRIDGE — orchestral swell, strings peak, brass punches hard] Don't worry about that car That's been parked outside all week That's not a cop — that's not a cop— That's your free home security! They're watching your package They're watching your door They care about your purchase What could you want more— Wait no, this is better This is ninety percent off! [female] Ba-doo-wah! [OUTRO — scat fading over trance pulse, brass dropping out one hit at a time] Ba-da-ba-bap-ba-doo — free shipping! Ba-da-ba-bap — white powder! Ba-da-ba-bap-ba-doo — José's coming! Ba-da-ba-bap — checkout! Checkout! Ba-da-ba... the cop says hi... Ba-da...
