I still check the lock on the front door twice Trying to keep out the ghosts of your advice You left your heavy silence on my hardwood floor And a dozen reasons I should want no more I pour a glass just to wash you down Hate how your memory still owns this town I build a fire out of all your lies Just to feel the warmth of your dark eyes Every step forward takes me two steps back Drawn to the train as it leaves the track You turned into the one person I needed to escape, but also the only place I wanted to go. My demon, my muse And my god, I hated you for that Sometimes I wanted to hurt you Just so you’d understand what you did to me I trace the bruises that you left inside Dressed up as passion, fed by my pride You were the match and the gasoline The darkest picture that I’ve ever seen Yet when the house burned down to the stone You were the only place that felt like home I build a fire out of all your lies Just to feel the warmth of your dark eyes Every step forward takes me two steps back Drawn to the train as it leaves the track You turned into the one person I needed to escape, but also the only place I wanted to go. My demon, my muse And my god, I hated you for that Sometimes I wanted to hurt you Just so you’d understand what you did to me You’re the toxic ink in every word I write The poison keeping me awake at night How can someone ruin every piece of you And still be the only one you want to hold onto? It’s a sickness, it’s a curse, it’s a holy war And I keep knocking on your broken door! Cause you’re the person I’m running from And the only one I’m running back to My demon, my muse God, I hate you for that I wanted to break you Just to see if you’d bleed like me But beneath all the rage, I still wanted you protected. I hate myself for still caring, And I’ll never understand why I do. That's the betrayal I can't forgive in myself, And the puzzle I'll never solve.
