[Intro] [Soft electric piano chords] [Wind howling sound effect] [Spoken: Deep, breathy voice] Marc... The autumn wind is blowing through the trees. In my mind, I’ve been traveling all day to get to you. I feel so... dusty. So... unwashed. I’m standing at your doorstep, shivering. And there’s only one thing that can make me feel clean again. [Verse 1] [Gentle acoustic guitar picking] I see Laura in the kitchen, making pumpkin pie I see Bennett watching the game with a twinkle in his eye Zeus is waiting for a turkey bone underneath the chair It’s a perfect family picture, so much love to share... [Pre-Chorus] [Strings swell gently] But I’ve been driving on the highway, and I feel so grimey inside I need to wash away the sorrow, I have nothing left to hide I look across the table, and I see you sitting there And suddenly I’m gasping... gasping for air... [Chorus] [Big, swaying melody with backing vocals] ‘Cause I need a hot Schauer... [Backing vocals: (So hot...)] I need a long, hard Schauer right now. I want to stand there naked and let the feelings flow I need Schauer to cover me from head to toe. Oh, I’m begging you, please... Give me a hot Schauer. [Verse 2] [Drums kick in - slow ballad beat] The gravy boat is heavy, the stuffing is so good But I’m sweating in this turtleneck like I knew I would I’m looking at you, Marc, across the candied yams I’m fantasizing about the steam... and the touch of a man... [Bridge] [French Horn solo - very dramatic] [Vocals climb higher, very emotional] Turn the handle! Make it burn! I have so much gratitude to learn! Laura is an angel, and Bennett is a prize But I need the water... to get in my eyes! I need to get wet! [Guitar Solo] [Clean, melodic electric guitar with phaser effect] [Chorus] [Key Change!] I need a hot Schauer... I need to feel Schauer on my skin! [Backing vocals: (Let him in...)] Don't leave me waiting in the cold, don't leave me high and dry I need a steaming hot Schauer before I say goodbye! Wash me clean, baby! [Outro] [Strings fade out] [Spoken: Breathy] Pass the cranberry sauce, Laura. Happy Thanksgiving, Bennett. Down, Zeus. [Pause] I’m ready for you now, Schauer. Turn it on. [Fade]
