The Tahni Effect [Intro — spoken, dry] “Go talk to Tahni.” “Why?” “She’ll get it out of you.” “Get what out of me?” “You’ll see.” …Oh, for fuck’s sake. [Verse 1] I came for a party, I came for a drink, I came for a little bit of cake, I think. You said, “Nice to meet you,” I said, “Likewise, hi,” Three minutes later you’re explaining why Your mother never called, Your father never stayed, The dream you had at seven Got quietly mislaid. And somehow I’m holding The pieces of your past— I haven't even found the cake yet. How the hell did we get here so fast? [Pre-Chorus] I didn't pry, I didn't ask, I just looked up And there went the mask. [Chorus] I'm an emotional skeleton key, Apparently that's my job. I don't pick locks, I just sit and listen And suddenly the whole thing drops. Your secrets, your sins, Your “I've never told this before,” Your childhood dreams And the crime you committed at twenty-four. I swear I'm not judging, I'm just trying to find my plate— Everybody needs a breakthrough, I just came here for the cake. [Verse 2] My friends have started using me Like some kind of human lie detector: “Go talk to Tahni.” “Why?” “She'll get it out of you.” “Get what out of me?” “You'll see.” Apparently I'm the emotional locksmith, The unofficial priest, The place you send a person When they're bursting at the seams. No licence, no training, No hourly rate, No “please bring your trauma In a clearly labelled case.” But hand me a stranger With a carefully practised smile And somehow ten minutes later I'm convinceing them life is worthwile [Pre-Chorus] I didn't crack you, I didn't pry, You just got tired Of keeping yourself disguised. [Chorus] I'm an emotional skeleton key, Apparently that's my brand. You show up with a personality And leave with your heart in your hands. Your secrets, your sins, Your “please don't tell a soul,” Your “I don't know why I'm saying this,” Well— Apparently I know. I swear I'm not judging, I'm just trying to locate my plate— You found your inner child, I only found crumbs of the cake. [Post-Chorus — playful] The Tahni Effect. I didn't name it. The Tahni Effect. Apparently you did. The Tahni Effect. Oh, don't look at me like that. I just asked if you wanted tea. [Verse 3 — warmer] And maybe I've finally figured out What everybody else could see: You don't need a perfect answer, You just need somewhere you can be. You can be soft without apologising, You can forget and I'll remember. You can lose the words halfway through And I won't make you find them better. I'll hold the things you can't quite carry, I'll tell you when you're losing your way. I'll see the person underneath The personality you made to get through the day. And God, I know that feeling— Being there and not being seen. So maybe that's the trick: I know how much it hurts To disappear inside yourself. [Bridge — stripped back] Maybe people aren't confessing Because I pull the secrets out. Maybe they just get tired Of performing what they're not. Maybe everyone is walking around With a costume labelled “me,” And every now and then Somebody needs a place To take it off completely. And if I can be that place— Well... I think I'm finally learning That's something worth being proud of. [Beat drops back in] Which is inconvenient. Because— [Final Chorus — bigger, playful] I'm an emotional skeleton key, Yeah, apparently it's real. I make you feel uncomfortably seen And somehow that's a good thing to feel. Your secrets, your sins, Your “I thought nobody'd understand,” Your dreams, your fears, Your whole damn heart in my hands. And the people who love me Apparently want me to stay— They're guarding me jealously Like I might just walk away. I tell them, “Cool it, I'm not going anywhere.” They say, “Shut up, We finally found someone who cares.” So maybe I get it now. Maybe this is what I became: A place where people stop pretending They don't need to be seen. [Outro — increasingly amused] The Tahni Effect. Yeah. Fine. It's a thing. The Tahni Effect. I suppose I do that. The Tahni Effect. You can tell me your darkest secret— Just... Can somebody please tell me where the fucking cake went? [Final whispered tag] “Go talk to Tahni.” “…Why?” “You'll see.”
