Thought it was me

[Verse 1] Seventeen, flipped a car, should’ve died right then Crawled out without a scratch, like something stepped in Six years, grown men threw an M-80 at my face It hit the ground quiet, time froze in that place Twice I almost vanished, twice I got pulled back Mama swears a darker force was hiding in the black Found me by the water, said it tried to take me deep I was chasing one lone leaf, she said shadows wanna keep Every single year in trouble, cops let me walk again Like something in my eyes made ’em see a spark within Took the hit for my brother so he wouldn’t lose his chance Walked out of that precinct like the world gave me a pass Vacuum blew apart in my hands, sparks in the air But it slipped from my grip like it floated off somewhere Hit by a car at twelve, flipped over the hood Landed on my feet when nobody thought I could Mama used to call me, I ignored every vibration Maybe I had that scatter brain or some other conversation [Chorus] I always thought, I always thought it was me Slipping fallen beams and ducking tragedy Walking on a wire to the edge where life leans Feet over the ledge like a baby in a seat, unseen [Verse 2] In my older years I started seeing a pattern in the mess Too many coincidences stacking heavy on my chest Went down to Florida, my brother turned cold on me Let strangers in his ear till he couldn’t even see I snapped, I cursed his name, said things I didn’t mean But he’s still my blood, my brother, even when it got obscene Felt like something in the shadows tried to twist the scene Tried to pull me off my center, tried to rile up my heat He turned, but I never thought he would turn on me Snakes in his ears, I guess, shouted in deceit Had to pack two dogs and a bag and say goodbye Eight hundred in my pocket, but I walked into the street Rebuilt everything we lost, standing back up on my feet Too many “lucky breaks” to call it luck on repeat With my mama and someone else’s help, I can climb back to the peak [Chorus] I always thought, I always thought it was me Slipping fallen beams and ducking tragedy Walking on a wire to the edge where life leans Feet over the ledge like a baby in a seat, unseen [Verse 3] Now I’m seeing what I missed, all the signs I couldn’t read All the times I said “I’m lucky,” something else was in the lead My mother was supposed to be my mother, raising up a son like me And “he” was me — always ran headfirst into heat But God was watching early, knew the kind of storm I’d be Had a safety net in place just in case for me I already started this life living on the peak, He gave me mama built strong and tailor-made for me I denied God in the open, played it on repeat, said His name in disbelief while He was taking all my grief I should have been thanking Him down on my face and both of my knees But He still kept sending Michael every time I couldn’t breathe It was never me