[Verse 1] The parking lot’s a war zone, not a spot in sight, (Fight for that space! Throw the blinkers, alright?) The crowd’s a stampede, people push and shove, (Is this a holiday or a cage match bruh!?) I’ve got a list a mile long, and time’s running thin, (Clock’s ticking! MOVE IT, Karen, comon', Karen) [Chorus] Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Can’t breathe, can’t move, man, the stress is hopping!) Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Let’s go, but I’m one step from dropping!) [Verse 2] The music’s on repeat, the same old cheer, (Silent night? Not here, I'm deaf in here!) The shelves are empty, the deals are a scam, (Who’s buying this shit? Not me, fam!) Kids are screaming, carts blocking the way, (Move your cart, Linda, we don’t have all day!) [Chorus] Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Can’t breathe, can’t move, man, the stress is hopping!) Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Let’s go, but I’m one step from dropping!) [Bridge] Why do we do this? Why every year? (Yo, it’s torture! Just shop online, my dear!) The cashiers are slow, the lights are too bright, (This ain’t Christmas; it’s a fight or flight!) My feet are aching, I’m losing my mind, (Hype man’s tired too—this is unkind!) [Chorus] Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Can’t breathe, can’t move, man, the stress is hopping!) Fuck shopping, (don't do it) Fuck shopping, (uh huh) (Let’s go, but I’m one step from dropping!) [Outro] I’m hauling my bags through the freezing cold, (Got frostbite, but we’re feeling bold!) Fuck shopping’s a nightmare, I swear it’s true, (But guess what? We’re coming back next year too!)
