[acoustic guitar: playful, bouncy strumming with a lighthearted rhythm] [flute enters: cheerful, chirping melody, like birdsong] [hand drum: jaunty, upbeat taps, like a woodland march] **(Verse 1)** [all instruments join in, lively and whimsical] Oh, I’m the druid, the forest’s friend, I’ll guard the trees ‘til the bitter end. But neutrality’s hard, it’s a tricky thing, When the rogue starts carving his name in a king! [flute trills mischievously, guitar strums quicken] “Oh, stop that now!” I cry in despair, But the barbarian’s roasting a boar over there. “Respect the cycle!” I plead with a frown, But the wizard’s setting half the forest town down! **(Chorus 1)** [voices: rowdy, with exaggerated harmonies] Oh, don’t poke the bear, don’t chop the tree, Don’t anger the bees, or you’ll answer to me! I’m trying to balance, to keep things fair, But you’re all chaos, and I’m pulling my hair! **(Verse 2)** [fiddle enters with a cheeky melody] The fighter’s stomping through sacred ground, While the bard’s serenading a squirrel he found. The cleric’s scolding me, “Stay neutral, please!” But how can I, when you’re all wrecking the bees?! [guitar strumming grows more frantic, drums add a comedic roll] “Oh, the wolf’s my friend!” I say with pride, But the rogue just stabbed him and tried to hide. “Let nature teach you!” I shout in vain, But the barbarian’s wrestling an elk again! **(Chorus 2)** [voices: louder, with exaggerated frustration] Oh, don’t poke the bear, don’t chop the tree, Don’t anger the bees, or you’ll answer to me! I’m trying to balance, to keep things fair, But you’re all chaos, and I’m pulling my hair! **(Bridge)** [tempo slows, instruments drop to just flute and guitar] Oh, neutrality’s a noble creed, But you test my patience with every deed. The wizard’s fireball? The rogue’s sharp blade? You’re all the reason the forest’s afraid! [drums build back in, tempo picks up slightly] [fiddle swells, adding a playful tension] So here’s my vow, I’ll keep the peace, But the next one to litter gets turned into geese! **(Chorus 3)** [all instruments swell, voices louder and more chaotic] Oh, don’t poke the bear, don’t chop the tree, Don’t anger the bees, or you’ll answer to me! I’m trying to balance, to keep things fair, But you’re all chaos, and I’m pulling my hair! **(Verse 3)** [fiddle takes a wild, comedic solo between lines] So raise a toast to the druid’s plight, To the party of chaos I wrangle each night. For though you’re reckless, and though you’re loud, I guess you’re my forest-destroying crowd. [drums and fiddle crescendo together] **(Final Chorus)** [all voices at full volume, instruments roaring, flute wailing] Oh, don’t poke the bear, don’t chop the tree, Don’t anger the bees, or you’ll answer to me! I’m trying to balance, to keep things fair, But you’re all chaos, and I’m pulling my hair! **(Outro)** [instruments fade to just flute and guitar] [voice: soft, with a resigned sigh] Oh, my friends, though you drive me mad, You’re the best chaotic family I’ve ever had… [end with a final flute trill and a comedic drum flourish]
