[Intro] [Heavy drum fill, sudden loud distorted guitar riff] [Verse 1] Don’t tell me 'bout your crystals or your Himalayan salt Like my neurochemistry is somehow all my fault! I’ve got a thousand tabs open and a heavy cloud of gray And your "positive affirmations" just get in the way! Oh, you did a "digital detox" in the mountains for a week? Well, I’m just trying to shower, so your outlook is unique! [Chorus] [Fast and loud] Because Yoga won't fix this! Kale isn't the cure! Your "Good Vibes Only" makes me feel like manure! I can’t breathe my way out of a clinical slump My brain isn't a temple, it's a toxic waste dump! Downward dog? No, I’m upwardly stressed! I don’t need a mantra, I need a nap and a rest! [Verse 2] You say "just drink more water, get some sun upon your face" Like I haven't tried existing in this human race! I’ve got "Mindfulness" fatigue and "Wellness" in my throat If I see one more sunset quote, I’m gonna sink the boat! Go ahead and light your incense, let the lavender aroma rise I’ll stay here with my panic and my heavy-lidded eyes! [Bridge] [Half-time tempo, heavy bass] Namaste? Nah, I’mma stay... Right here on the floor. Don’t bring that yoga mat through my front door! [Drum build up] ONE, TWO, THREE, GO! [Outro] [Aggressive guitar] Yoga won't fix this! (Spoken: Keep your green juice!) Yoga won't fix this! (Spoken: I'm still vibrating!) Yoga won't fix this! [Sudden stop] I think I pulled a muscle. [Final feedback ring] [End]
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