He laughed like it was light, like we were playing Hand on my arm, sliding like he’s staying I said stop once - not loud, just clear Same word twice, like maybe he’d hear Room full of noise but it cut right through Not what he said, it was what he didn’t do Didn’t pause, didn’t check, didn’t read my face Just kept going like I wasn’t in the space I froze in place but I wasn’t still Mind going loud while my mouth stayed still I said I’m not okay - it didn’t bend the air It just fell between us and stayed there I said it out loud - it didn’t land Like my voice don’t stick to anyone’s hands Like I’m talking through glass no one can see Like it stops right in front of me Not quiet - just unheard Same sentence, same words I said it straight, no hiding it But it never changed the shape of the room Different night, different weight on my skin Older voice, closer than it should’ve been I pulled back first, said I don’t like this He smiled like that line don’t exist Told my boyfriend what happened, shaking a bit He rubbed my arm like that would fix it Said “it’s okay,” like it was small Like the word “okay” could cover it all I needed something heavier than calm Not soft hands, I needed alarm Needed someone to hear what I meant Not smooth it out till it’s innocent I didn't want to be held in place I wanted it named, I wanted it faced But it got wrapped up, quiet, neat Like my voice was something easy to delete I said it out loud - it didn’t land Like my voice don’t stick to anyone’s hands Like I’m talking through glass no one can see Like it stops right in front of me Not quiet - just unheard Same sentence, same words I said it straight, no hiding it But it never changed the shape of the room Sixteen, door closed, I remember the air How it felt thick like something was there I left that room not feeling like me Walked back home like I lost something I couldn’t see Hands still shaking when I hit the door Thought someone would notice something was off for sure But she was crying over something else Didn’t even look when I said “I need help” My voice felt small in a house that loud Like I disappeared standing right in front of her now I stood there waiting for it to click But her world didn’t move, not even a bit So I swallowed it down like I always do Made it quiet enough to make it through That’s the part that sticks, more than the fear It’s how loud I was - and nobody could hear It’s not the silence - it’s the reply It’s the way they look and pass it by Like you spoke in a language they don’t speak Or your voice just stops before it can reach I said it out loud - it didn’t land Kept falling apart in my own hands Like I’m real but I don’t take shape Like I’m there but I don’t take space Not quiet - just unheard Same sentence, same words I said it straight, no hiding it But it never changed the shape of the room
