Second Greatest Loser, the 2nd

[Verse 1] He aimed for the bottom but missed by a mile Even in failure he couldn't compile The gold of defeat was snatched from his hand Second place loser is his default brand [Verse 2] He trips on his shoelace but never a fall Attempts at surrender not great at all The king of almost never could win A near-perfect loss his eternal sin [Chorus] Second best at losing never number one Champion of almost's not the favored son Winning at losing just a step too high He's second greatest loser 'til the day he dies [Verse 3] His mission to falter with calves made of clay Aiming for worst but excellence in stray Never crowned number one in the state of despair The runner-up spot's his perpetual lair [Bridge] In a sea of defeat he's just above the rest Never the worst but never the best Some say there's honor in losing so fine But being second worst is a bitter line [Chorus] Second best at losing never number one Champion of almost's not the favored son Winning at losing just a step too high He's second greatest loser 'til the day he dies