Australia is renowned for unique and diverse wildlife… including several spider species to send you swiftly to the afterlife. That’s exactly what Wayne hoped for his wife. He would not hesitate, at helping Lorraine meet her ultimate fate. He was planning a vacation crime, while blaming Lorraine for all his wasted prime… not spending weekends golfing at his club, all the time. [CHORUS] First-class travel fares, five-star hotels, exotic stores, wildlife outdoor tours, and settling emotional scores. The deadliest spiders are in Australia, none you’d welcome into shoes at night, yet it’s always possible that one might. It can cause severe illness and even death — once its bite is completed — especially if not immediately treated. To Wayne, a deadly venomous spider seemed less messy than mauled by an angry India Bengal Tiger. Lorraine never suspected a thing. It had been a long time since they had gone vacationing. Saving for years to have a special wedding anniversary, like no other. There was a whole world Lorraine would like to travel and discover. [CHORUS] First-class travel fares, five-star hotels, exotic stores, wildlife outdoor tours, and settling emotional scores. Wayne mentioned only two places he’d like to go, Australia or India, but Lorraine just didn’t know. She wasn’t worldly, in any way, and thought that Mumbai was still called Bombay. Australia sounded okay, until they were there on that very first day. She found a large spider in the shower, then later in the hotel’s bouquet of welcoming flowers. There were two in her suitcase, even the one that’s brand-new. At lunch, there was another in her bowl of fresh honeydew. Again, beside her in the taxi on their way to the local zoo. She didn’t know how she was going to get through. Still, it was an awful shame what ultimately happened to Wayne. He got too close to the wild animal cage and Lorraine’s custom perfume drove the tiger into an awful rage. Wayne’s no longer worried about his progressing old age. [CHORUS] First-class travel fares, five-star hotels, exotic stores, wildlife outdoor tours, and settling emotional scores. It all ended in a terrible mess. Lorraine later professed how the airfare to Australia was actually much less. …the airfare was actually much less.
