[Intro: dirty resonator guitar, boot stomps, Hammond creeping underneath] [Big Papa, low spoken swagger] Now before anybody starts... I came in here planning to be respectable. That's my story. I'm sticking to it. [Verse 1] Fresh black shirt and my good boots on Mustache curled like I had some sense Walked through the door at a quarter past nine Said one hour, then I'm heading home Then the bass man bent that first damn note Hammond got ugly from across the room Somebody hollered, "Big Papa!" I looked at my watch... Hell, I just got here. [Pre-Chorus] I found me a chair Didn't stay there long Told myself, "Act fifty-four" Then somebody played my song My head said, "Boy, sit down" My feet said, "Not tonight" Apparently the bottom half of me Don't respect good advice [Chorus] I was gonna behave Had my story straight Sit my big ass in the corner Drink something cold and leave by eight I was gonna behave Even wore my good damn shoes Then that bass hit one ugly note And both feet filed for mutiny If I'm walking funny tomorrow Mind your business, I'll be fine I was gonna behave 'Til the band changed my mind [Verse 2] Lady by the jukebox started laughing at me Said, "Big man, you sure those knees still bend?" I said, "These knees got limited mileage But apparently they ain't read the contract yet" Dropped down low Well... low for me About six inches, maybe three Came back up making noises A grown man shouldn't make publicly [Big Papa, spoken] I did not pull a hamstring. I'm dancing asymmetrically. [Pre-Chorus] Found me a chair Said I was done Sat there maybe thirty seconds Then that harmonica begun One long note Mean as hell I looked that man dead in the eye Said, "What kind of irresponsible Bullshit was that?" [Harmonica Break] [Chorus] I was gonna behave Had my story straight Sit my big ass in the corner Drink something cold and leave by eight I was gonna behave Even wore my good damn shoes Then that bass hit one ugly note And both feet filed for mutiny If I'm walking funny tomorrow Mind your business, I'll be fine I was gonna behave 'Til the band changed my mind [Instrumental Break: filthy resonator guitar, harmonica and Hammond] [Bridge: bass, handclaps and Hammond only] [Big Papa, half-sung testimony] Now I ain't blaming nobody I'm a grown-ass man Responsible for my decisions At least that's what I understand But if the bass player hadn't started it And the organ hadn't joined And that fool with the harmonica Had left well enough alone... [Beat stops] [Big Papa, spoken] We wouldn't be having this conversation. [Beat slams back] [Final Chorus] I was gonna behave Had my story straight Sit my big ass in the corner Drink something cold and leave by eight I was gonna behave Even wore my good damn shoes Then that bass hit one ugly note And both feet filed for mutiny If I'm walking funny tomorrow Mind your business, I'll be fine I was gonna behave 'Til the band changed my mind [Outro: dirty bass, Hammond and harmonica] [Big Papa, sung] Yeah, I was gonna behave Hell, I meant it at the time [Big Papa, spoken] I'm blaming the bass player. [Bass fill] [Big Papa] See? That shit right there. [Short pause] I'm just sayin'.
