Season’s greetings, hear my tale unfold, A Christmas story, twisted, dark, and cold, The Grinch would grin, his heart would ignite, Santa sleighs tonight, no peace in sight. Stockings dangle, tattered and bare, Carols choke the frosted air, Elves slave away, no hope, no dime, Santa sleighs them all in overtime. Reindeer snort, their antlers stained, Santa’s sloshed, his mind unchained, Beer cans roll, his sleigh’s a mess, Snowflakes swirl, he’s set to press. Santa’s pissed, his grudge runs deep, A winter of wrath, no time for sleep, On Donner, On Blitzen, hooves grind under, He sleighs the naughty, lands like thunder. Leave the cookies, pour the rum, Or Santa sleighs ‘til you’re numb, Late take-off, the skies ignite, He sleighs the world this Christmas night. First stop’s his ex, she’s marked for doom, Glock in hand, he storms the room, On Prancer, On Vixen, chaos reigns, Santa sleighs through shattered panes. Round the globe in twenty-four, A trail of ash, a settling score, Towers dodge his jagged flight, Santa sleighs ‘til dawn ignites. Season’s greetings, the tale is done, Santa sleighs with a loaded gun, The sleigh rides off, the screams subside, Bloody hell, enjoy the ride.
