[Subgenre: Ska-Punk, Fast Pop-Punk] [Instrumentation: Bright horn section, fast walking bass, energetic punk drums, clean rhythmic guitars] [Vocals: Fast-talking, highly sarcastic male vocals, group shout-alongs] [Verse 1] I logged online just to check out the news, But stepped right into a madhouse of views. On the left, a rad-fem is screaming in X, That my privilege is toxic, my existence insults! She’s writing blogs about patriarchy and abuse, And my cisgender status is her favorite excuse. A queer activist updates pronouns in their bio, Forgot them once? You’re canceled, goodbye-o! [Backing vocals] Cancel him! Cancel him! [/Backing vocals] [Verse 2] I run to the right, hoping sanity’s there, But an alt-right conservative is ready to flare! He’s shouting 'bout borders, tradition, and God, To him, anyone in a hoodie is part of the squad. If you don't wear a suit or you skip Sunday prayer, The values of the Nation are dead, he will swear! He’s terrified of rainbows, sees demons in tech, And prays for a holy war right on the deck! [Backing vocals] Burn him down! Burn him down! [/Backing vocals] [Chorus] Oh, welcome to the circus, the two-winged parade! Where logic was murdered and common sense frayed! On the left, they will cancel your career for a word, On the right, you're a traitor for things they preferred! Everywhere you look, a brand new Inquisition, Everyone is locked in a radical position! [Group Shout] Hey! Ho! We are doomed! [/Group Shout] [Verse 3] Now look at pop culture — I open a game, But Twitter’s already exploding in flame! The ethics committee is checking the chest, To make sure the heroine is modestly dressed. They shrunk all her curves and covered her skin, 'Cause digital hotness is a capitalist sin! While on the other side, a fan zooms the frame, Inspecting her underwear, losing his brain! [Backing vocals] Where's censorship?! Where's the panties?! [/Backing vocals] [Verse 4] I turn on a movie — the casting’s a mess, A checkbox of quotas, a corporate express. The Nordic elves are suddenly tanned, The script is so dead, but diversity’s planned! Some hide every pixel from head to the toe, Some count every wrinkle to put on a show. Just leave me the story, just give me the gameplay, You bunch of corporate clowns, you ruin my day! [Chorus] Oh, welcome to the circus, the two-winged parade! Where logic was murdered and common sense frayed! On the left, they will cancel your career for a word, On the right, you're a traitor for things they preferred! Everywhere you look, a brand new Inquisition, Everyone is locked in a radical position! [Group Shout] Hey! Ho! We are doomed! [/Group Shout] [Bridge] And while they are fighting for pixels and rules, The feed algorithms are playing these fools. The internet watches this human decay, Where every single comment is a hate-fueled display. We divide the whole world into zeroes and ones, Building our prisons, loading our guns! [Post-Bridge / Riff Change] [Instrumentation: Drums layout, palm-muted guitar, slow dramatic bass] [Vocals: Quiet, serious, conversational tone] And I look at all this and I can't believe my eyes, The world is torn apart by these colorful lies. You must choose a side, pick a flag, join the pack, Or both of these armies will launch an attack. For those in the middle, who think for themselves, There’s no place left on these polarized shelves. They’ll burn all the bridges, they’ll ruin the peace, 'Cause a moderate guy is their worst enemy. [Scream] No chance at all! [/Scream] [Outro] [Instrumentation: Full explosive ska-punk explosion, fast brass section] I shut down the Wi-Fi, I step to the yard, No left wing, no right wing, I drop all my guards. Just flowers, fresh air, and a quiet retreat, While the internet war rages on in the street. I'm not left, I'm not right, I'm just a human being, And your Culture War is nothing that I want to be seeing! [Punchy drum roll, final loud brass chord]
