8 - Worked Fine In My Head

[Intro - Joliet Jam Band, spoken] We want to announce a special guest. He was a little— REALLY reluctant— but we managed to bring him out to see all you nice people. Please, no flashes. He’s already got a headache from the chloroform. Ladies and gentlemen, name withheld for the protection of the guilty... Give it up for HuntedGatherer! [HuntedGatherer, off mic] I hate all of you. [Joliet Jam Band] HE'S WARMING UP! [Band kicks in] [Intro - HuntedGatherer, acoustic guitar and mandolin] Heard there was a band from Joliet Said they wanted me to sing I said, "That sounds very flattering" Then I stopped answering [spoken] I don't really do attention. [Joliet Jam Band - off mic] WE HEARD. [HuntedGatherer] That's concerning. [Verse 1 - HuntedGatherer] I woke up in a moving van With a headache and a sack Somebody said, "Don't take this wrong" I said, "I'd like my Tuesday back" There was ether on somebody's coat And a sandwich on the floor A man said, "We just wanna make a record" I said, "You could've knocked on the door." [Joliet Jam Band - stop-time] YOU WOULD'VE SAID NO. [HuntedGatherer] Yes. [Joliet Jam Band] SEE? [Band hits] [Chorus - Joliet Jam Band with HuntedGatherer] Worked fine in my head Worked fine in my head Every part of the plan made sense Till we actually did what we said Worked fine in my head That's the trouble with a plan Looks real good when nobody moves Then somebody moves the van [Harmonica turnaround] [Verse 2 - HuntedGatherer] They handed me an old guitar Said, "Play whatever you know" I said, "Could somebody untie this?" They said, "After the intro." Accordion wheezed, the drummer counted Horns came crashing through I said, "This is not how collaboration works" [Joliet Jam Band] IT'S WORKIN' NOW. [HuntedGatherer] For you. I tried to leave through the loading door There was a bass amp in the way Then somebody found a rhythm And I accidentally stayed [Chorus - full band] Worked fine in my head Worked fine in my head Every part of the plan made sense Till we actually did what we said Worked fine in my head That's the trouble with a plan Looks real good when nobody moves Then somebody moves the van [Instrumental - accordion and harmonica trade, Joliet rhythm section underneath] [Verse 3 - HuntedGatherer] Now I got a little problem I don't like a crowded room I don't like strangers knowing things I don't like being presumed I can tell a joke about myself Before anybody gets there first Make the funny part real obvious So nobody sees the worse [Joliet Jam Band - quieter] We ain't laughin' at you. [HuntedGatherer] I know. [Joliet Jam Band] Good. [Bridge - HuntedGatherer, band drops to acoustic guitar, upright bass, brushed drums] Most bad plans don't look bad When they're sitting in your skull They got clean lines and good intentions Everything's under control Then you say the thing out loud And somebody hears it too And sometimes what sounded foolish Turns out halfway true I spend a lot of time avoiding Things I probably ought to face Turns out being dragged into a room Still counts as showing up someplace [brief silence] [Joliet Jam Band - softly] We could've just asked. [HuntedGatherer] Yes. [Joliet Jam Band] Would you have come? [HuntedGatherer] No. [beat] [Joliet Jam Band] SEE? [Full band crashes back in] [Final Chorus - HuntedGatherer + Joliet Jam Band] Worked fine in my head Worked fine in my head Every part of the plan made sense Till we actually did what we said Worked fine in my head Maybe that's enough Some plans fall apart on contact Some just need a little shove Worked fine in my head Now it's stuck in everybody's ear I still don't like attention— [Joliet Jam Band] TOO LATE. [HuntedGatherer] Yeah. I gathered. [Outro - fast folk-punk pulse, harmonica and accordion] [Joliet Jam Band] You wanna do another one? [HuntedGatherer] No. I want to go home now. [Joliet Jam Band] That's not a no. [HuntedGatherer] That was exactly a no. [Joliet Jam Band] We're way past consent. COUNT IT IN! [HuntedGatherer] Oh, for— [Band hits final chord]