[Intro] He's not here to compete, He's not here to play it fair, He's the wingman you deny, He's the asshole in the sky. He's got no friends at all He's such a neanderthal Even scientists think he's nuts Even roof campers hates his guts [Chorus] [Drums start] I'M PATROL HELI PITY PETE! I'TS TIME FOR MY TREAT! I'LL FUCK YOU UP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! [Drums stop] MUAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! [Verse 2] AK was running naked, Picking treasures from his nose, Pete said, "Normally I'd spare you..." Then he saw the fork he chose. AK yelled, "IT'S JUST A FORK IN MY NOSE!" Pete replied, "ITS STILL A FORK." The cannons roared, The body soared, AK screamed, "I JUST WANT TO BE IGNORED!" [Music stops] [Machine gun drums] [Explosion sound] [Music continue] [Verse 3] Deda spent an hour scouting, Sneaking through the rocks unseen, Checking compounds, counting turrets, Moving like a spying machine. Pete parked quietly behind a hill For thirty-seven minutes straight. Deda said, "Surely he's gone." Pete said, "I LOVE TO WAIT." [Music stops] [Machine gun drums] [Explosion sound] [Music continue] [Chorus] [Drums start] I'M PATROL HELI PITY PETE! I'TS TIME FOR MY TREAT! I'LL FUCK YOU UP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! [Drums stop] MUAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! [Verse 4] Raven built a giant mansion, Windows facing out to sea, Three hours spent perfection crafting, Rust architecture royalty. Pete saw one twig foundation, Spun around and changed his course. Raven cried, "WHY ME AGAIN?" Pete replied, "BECAUSE OF COURSE" [Verse 5] Kenta searched for food all morning, Starving nearly half to death, Found a pumpkin and a mushroom, Took a grateful little breath. Then Pete got eyes on his favorite prey Took aim full speed forward and away Kenta shouted, "NOT ME AGAIN!" Pete replied, "HELLO AGAIN OLD FRIEND!" And reduced him to a crunch. [Music stops] [Machine gun drums] [Explosion sound] [Music continue] [Verse 6] Benny the Poopman sat pooping, Enjoying peaceful toilet time, Pete spotted him from seven grids away And considered it a crime. Benny yelled, "I'M OCCUPIED!" Pete replied, "OCCUPATION DENIED!" [Music stops] [Machine gun drums] [Explosion sound] [Music continue] [Verse 8] Drutten farmed a thousand stones, Inventory filled with pride, Pete emerged behind a mountain, Like a tax bill from the sky. Drutten cried, "I JUST GOT HOME!" Pete replied, "ILL NOTE THAT ON YOUR TOMB!" [Music stops] [Machine gun drums] [Explosion sound] [Music continue] [Bridge] Pete shoots berry pickers. Pete shoots tree cutters. Pete shoots farming chirlden. Pete shoots harmless women. Pete shoots people AFK. BUT MOST OF ALL PETE LOVES TO SHOOT AT KENTA. [Final Chorus] [Drums:] I'M PATROL HELI PITY PETE! THE KING OF THE WIPE! IF YOUR DAY IS GOING GREAT, I'LL RUIN YOUR LIFE! AK! DEDA! RAVEN TOO! KENTA! BENNY! I'M COMING FOR YOU! BOOM! DRUTTEN! BETTER RUN DEEP! HIDE IN A MONUMENT OR PREPARE TO WEEP! I'M THE ASSHOLE IN THE SKY! THE FLYING CREEP! MUAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
