How Glad I'm 4 Everything

Somewhere around three at night In an empty minibus I’m flipping through my failures in my head I thought of myself as a shadow Someone else’s decoration But life turned out to be a wild combination Pain got mixed up with habit Like tea with a cigarette The city spat in my face I went looking for advice From people Who only believe in numbers and checks And I believed in one crazy peaceful sunrise How glad I am for everything Fuck For every failure Every upside-down cross For those Who left And for those Who stayed till the end How glad I am for everything How glad I am for everything Fuck Remember that evening on the old rooftop? I was screaming into the dark So someone, anyone, would hear You laughed: “Dramatizing again” And back then I didn’t know That one day you’d do the same I went off the rails But survived Look From cheap puffs grow tents Where we drink to the mistakes That burned us from the inside And to the scars on the heart Like marks saying “live” How glad I am for everything Fuck For every failure Every upside-down cross For those Who left And for those Who stayed till the end How glad I am for everything How glad I am for everything Fuck So what What broke me to pieces That’s what made me who I became Every “never” turned into “now” Every “I’m tired” — into “I’ll push through again” (hey) How glad I am for everything Fuck For every failure Every upside-down cross For those Who left And for those Who laugh back in response How glad I am for everything How glad I am for everything Fuck