「髑髏と槍」 わたしはもうダメだと思って 何ももうできないと思って 無くしたもの取りもどせない Of course, I can't change you A skull lies buried beneath my feet What is left for me to do? 信じた訳（わけ）ひとつずつ消え 守ろうとしてたの、もうなにもない Something remains when all else fades 勝利じゃない 救済じゃない All that's left is the freedom not to betray myself I knew it all along. どう思いたいの？ 本当はずっと知ってたじゃない I tried not to hear that voice I don't want to lose what I have I don't want to break what I love I don't want to get hurt Nothing will change anyway Yes, those are practical reasons What is left for me to do? 言い訳はもう意味を失い 見ないふりする理由、もうなにもない Something remains when all else fades 勝利じゃない 救済じゃない All that's left is the freedom not to betray myself I knew it all along. ずっとそう、そこにあった わたし見ようとしなかったじゃない I tried not to hear that voice I don't want to lose what I have I don't want to break what I love I don't want to get hurt Nothing will change anyway Yes, those are practical reasons わたしはもうダメだと思って 何ももうできないと思って 無くしたもの取りもどせない Of course, I can't change you I hold a spear in my hand *** 髑髏（ドクロ）と槍（ヤリ）は、マカオの教会の壁面に刻まれた彫刻からインスピレーションを得ています。実際に描かれているのは槍ではなく矢ですが、そこには「死を意識することで、人は自らの行いを正すことができる」という意味が込められているそうです。これは、キリスト教における「メメント・モリ（死を忘れるな）」という思想に通じるものです。 歌詞では髑髏は死を意識したとき、槍は死に向かって生きるのではなく今をより良く生きること、自分の意思で生きることの象徴として考えています。 ちなみに私にとっては、よりよく生きることは、必ずしも正しく生きることと同じではありません。 表現したかったのは、限られた人生だからこそ、何を大切にして何を選び、どう生きるかという問いです。 歌詞の中で「わたし」は、絶望の中にいることで信念が純粋になり、自分が決して裏切りたくないものを知ります。 絶望を克服する必要はない。救いが訪れなくてもいい。それでも自分が何を選ぶべきかは、絶望が深くなればむしろ明瞭になっていく様子を歌詞にしました。 *** The Skull and the Spear I thought I was done for I thought there was nothing more I could do I can't bring back what I've lost Of course, I can't change you A skull lies buried beneath my feet What is left for me to do? One by one, the reasons I once believed in fade away There's nothing left of what I tried to protect Something remains when all else fades It's not victory It's not salvation All that's left is the freedom not to betray myself I knew it all along. What do I want to believe is right? I've known the answer all along, haven't I? I tried not to hear that voice I don't want to lose what I have I don't want to break what I love I don't want to get hurt Nothing will change anyway Yes, those are practical reasons What is left for me to do? One by one, my excuses lose their meaning There's no reason left to pretend I don't see Something remains when all else fades It's not victory It's not salvation All that's left is the freedom not to betray myself I knew it all along. It was always there I was the one who refused to see it I tried not to hear that voice I don't want to lose what I have I don't want to break what I love I don't want to get hurt Nothing will change anyway Yes, those are practical reasons I thought I was done for I thought there was nothing more I could do I can't bring back what I've lost Of course, I can't change you I hold a spear in my hand *** The imagery of the skull and spear in this song was inspired by a carving I saw on the façade of the Ruins of St. Paul's in Macau. The original carving depicts a skeleton with an arrow, accompanied by a message reminding us of our mortality and urging us not to sin. This reflects the Christian tradition of Memento Mori , "Remember that you must die." I was deeply drawn to the idea that awareness of death can influence how we choose to live. From that inspiration, I developed my own interpretation of the skull and the spear as metaphors for mortality and the freedom to live according to one's own will. To me, though, living a better life doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as living a morally righteous one. What I wanted to explore was a question: Because our lives are finite, what do we truly value? What do we choose, and how do we choose to live? In the lyrics, as I find myself in the depths of despair, my convictions become clearer and purer. I come face to face with something I have always known, something I could never bear to betray. Despair doesn't have to be overcome. Salvation doesn't have to come. Even if nothing changes, even if no light appears, the deeper the despair becomes, the clearer it can be what I must choose. That's what I wanted to express through this song.
