Some [spoken intro] No hook…. Just listen… [verse one] Some truths hide in plain sight. Some guide only by internal light. - some pain shows on our face. Some darkness we all embrace. Some circles always grow. Others shrink to control their flow. Some days breathing is difficult, some days death- the final result. Some days wanting to live so strong and safe. Others blend deeply with dishonor and disgrace, some days I wanna get better, others a soaking summer sweater. It’s pain and wanting to quit. Another day With no physical friendship. It’s birds singing in the morning. But I’m no where near freely soaring. It’s pain that deepens with every flirting text. Wondering who’ll wreck me next. [verse two] This is me now… Exhausted and standing… A purpose without planning. Broke and in pain. My mind’s slipping again. I know tiredness brings the darkness- but it’s in me- no cause- no tests. Anger, wanting, needing, pleading…. Who sees me? Who needs me? I stand alone… I FREE ME! [verse three] Not a song nor lyrics said. Just the pain inside my head. I don’t wish harm nor see myself dead. Just freedom and love. A touch, a hug, a back rub. What am I but a fading vibration? Energy lost, nights glow fading. Smells of nature, distance trains rumble. Rest…my body begs. Tired mind, soul and legs. My stomach aches with burning acid. The words, “who’ll see me?”, replay in my head. Crickets chirp, a harmony so peaceful, when is it my turn? When will my soul be full? Not for lack of trying. I’ve gone back on my own. “Never settle” a phrase I’ve passed on. I break my own rules seeking affection I know isn’t real. It’s hard to live lonely. Where’s that thrill? I’ll keep going. I’ll keep seeking. New York left a whole, It continues leaking. I don’t hold blame, anger or distain. What’s love, but a fading flame? Mid life has passed me. This I hold true. Where do I go from here? How do I remain true? I don’t want to be here! Who does?! Who wants to live in daily pain? Lonely and seeking the one who’ll awaken their heart again? I give and give and give. Where’s my solace? Where’s my peace? Where’s my lover? Where’s my friend? I do not wish to die! No, that’s not a plan. But damn life, give me a break man. Self harming actions of smoke and a few beers. What else to do with time when no one holds me dear? Yes, there are some that want to be with me, that’s one sided as a gap in the sea. Israel crossed on dry land. A miracle, God’s plan. They escaped slavery and a life of pain. What did I do to deserve this again? Late nights, when I should be asleep- my brain won’t shut off. What’s next? What’s waiting? Why do I feel so soft? Good enough for a moment, never sought for a forever. They all leave during pain and bad weather. So, what’s next in this turmoil of a smiling depression? What do I focus on? What’s this damn lesson? Be quiet and wait, or lie down and accept this demented fate? Some… Some days are better than others.. Some… Some day.
