You came walking through the doorway With another bright idea Had that look upon your face That always fills me up with fear You said, “Buddy, trust me on this” Like you always seem to do I took one look at your master plan And said, “I’ve got news for you” I’d rather eat water than do that I’d rather comb a bowling ball I’d rather teach a fish to whistle Or paint a shadow on the wall I’d rather eat water than do that You can ask me all day long I may not know what eating water means But I know that plan is wrong You said we’d make a little money If we worked from dawn till three Moving bricks across the backyard For your cousin’s company Then you mentioned there’s no paycheck Just experience and pride I said, “You go chase your future, friend I’ll be staying here inside” I’d rather eat water than do that I’d rather comb a bowling ball I’d rather teach a fish to whistle Or paint a shadow on the wall I’d rather eat water than do that You can ask me all day long I may not know what eating water means But I know that plan is wrong I’ve done some foolish things before And I’ll probably do some more But even I know when to turn around And slowly close the door You can call me scared or lazy You can say I’ve lost my nerve But some ideas deserve respect And some get what they deserve I’d rather eat water than do that I’d rather milk a wooden cow I’d rather count the wind in buckets Than agree with you right now I’d rather eat water than do that That’s the truth, and that’s a fact You can keep your brilliant master plan I ain’t ever coming back Eat water? Well... it still sounds better than your idea.
