I learned to sleep beside the sirens Like they were singing me to bed Every hallway has an exit But I keep choosing mine instead There are fingerprints in the smoke And every single one is mine I nailed the windows shut for safety Then cursed the room for keeping me inside I watched the ceiling turn to weather Black clouds gathering overhead And told myself, “It’s only temporary” While breathing ashes through my teeth If there was ever something sacred here I buried it beneath the floor Now every step I take Sounds like someone at the door So burn the exit signs I already know the way I’ve spent my whole life running Just to circle back again If heaven keeps a record Let it choke upon my name I was begging for salvation With the matches in my hand I wanted out I just never wanted change The walls have learned my breathing They contract around my chest Every room becomes a courtroom Every mirror takes the stand I cross-examine every failure Until the truth forgets itself Then build another explanation Like a coffin on a shelf DON’T CALL THIS AN ACCIDENT I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WOULD BURN I JUST THOUGHT THAT WHEN THE FLAMES CAME I WOULD FINALLY FEEL CONCERN If there was ever something human here It left without a sound And all the prayers I threw upstairs Came falling back down So burn the exit signs I already know the way I’ve spent my whole life running Just to circle back again If heaven keeps a record Let it choke upon my name I was begging for salvation With the matches in my hand I wanted out I just never wanted change Maybe the fire was never punishment Maybe I needed something bright enough To show me what I’d done Maybe every door was open Maybe no one held me here Maybe that’s the part I cannot bear THERE WAS NO LOCK THERE WAS NO CHAIN NO HAND AROUND MY THROAT NO ONE TO BLAME I BUILT THIS PLACE I FED THE FLAME AND WHEN THEY ASK WHO LIT THE MATCH TELL THEM I KNOW HIS NAME So leave the exit signs There’s nowhere left to run I spent my whole life searching For a war that I had won And if heaven keeps a record Let it underline my name I wasn’t begging for salvation I WAS BEGGING TO STAY THE SAME I wanted out I just never wanted change The fire trucks are leaving The house is standing still Funny how the flames went out And I’m still burning here.
