There may not be a birthday call No knocking at my door, No little voices singing Like they used to do before. And once I thought their silence Would be all that I could hear— But somehow from the breaking Came the greatest gift this year. I had nowhere left to put it, All the questions, all the pain, So I started simply talking, Trying to make sense again. What began as tears and searching Became a place to tell the truth, And somewhere in those conversations I began to find me too. They gave me back my song Though they never meant to give it. When the life I knew went quiet, I remembered how to live it. Every memory found a melody, Every chapter found a voice, And the story I thought ended Opened wider than before. What began with losing something Led me where I now belong— They may never know they gave me Back my life, my voice, my song. First I sang about the heartache, About loving, letting go, Then the songs became the memories I still wanted them to know. But the music kept on reaching Past the sorrow, past those years— Till a black horse crossed a meadow And my childhood reappeared. There were school days, there was seminary, There were children, faith and home, There were grandkids, roads and temples, There was Rick and growing old. All the pieces of a lifetime I'd forgotten how to see Started lining up like verses In the song that carried me. They gave me back my song Though they never meant to give it. When the life I knew went quiet, I remembered how to live it. Every memory found a melody, Every chapter found a voice, And the story I thought ended Opened wider than before. What began with losing something Led me where I now belong— They may never know they gave me Back my life, my voice, my song. I can keep what was beautiful. I can bless what had to end. I don't have to lose the memories Just because we've lost the "then." They were chapters in my story; They'll always have their place. But there are pages still unwritten, And I'm turning to the next. So here's my birthday present— Not the one I'd thought I'd choose: A year that broke my heart apart Then taught me what I couldn't lose. I found memories waiting for me, I found joy that hadn't gone, I found a life worth singing And the courage to sing on. No box could ever hold it, No ribbon could belong— The strangest gift this birthday Is they gave me back my song. My life was never over. I was learning all along— There were so many chapters waiting For me to find their song.
