(Verse 1) Woke up in a bathtub filled with SpaghettiOs, Wearing swim trunks and a cape, striking hero poses. Phone rang—it’s a pineapple, yelling in French, While my toaster in the corner’s doin' stomach crunch reps. Crawled out the tub, dripped sauce on the floor, Front door's gone, now it’s just a candy store. Clerk’s a jellybean with a tiny mustache, Said, "Bro, you owe me 40 bucks in cash!" Tried to run but my legs turned to licorice, Feet stickin’ to the floor, man, this ain’t delicious. Ceiling fan droppin' eggs in slow motion, While the couch starts twerkin’ with heavy devotion. Looked outside—yo, the street's on fire, But the flames spell "Bro, you need to retire." Mailbox whisperin', "The moon’s a hoax," While a squirrel in a tux tells political jokes. (Reality Check) He’s just rollin’ in syrup on a kitchen floor, Screamin’ at a microwave and kickin’ the door. Neighbors peekin' in like, "Call the cops quick!" But he's waltzing with a mop to an invisible hit. (Verse 2) Hit the streets, feelin' like a neon king, Pigeons droppin’ mixtapes, yo, the birds can sing. Trash can did a kickflip, gave me advice, "Don’t trust forks—they’re secretly spies!" Crosswalk flashin’ hieroglyphic signs, While a stoplight told me, "Bro, the stars don’t align." Car horns hummin' Beethoven’s Fifth, While a grandma in a jetpack gave me a lift. Landed on a rooftop, flexin’ my chest, With a seagull hypeman yellin’, "You’re the best!" But then—whoops—sky turned pixelated, Sun glitched out and my shadow evaporated. Bellybutton startin' to broadcast static, And my shoelaces turned into mathematic. Reality shakin', my brain’s on skates, While a goldfish DJ’s droppin’ the bass. (Reality Check) Dude’s just screamin' on a mailbox top, Spittin’ out glitter like he just won a crop. Kids pointin’, parents grabbin’ their phones, And someone’s grandma threw him some scones. (Verse 3) Ran into a bakery, needin’ some calm, But the breadsticks arm-wrestlin' jam jars with brawn. Cashier’s a toaster wearin' Ray-Bans, Said, "You wanna croissant? You gotta dance, man." Did the moonwalk, split, and a shaky dab, While a loaf of sourdough started to clap. Won a muffin, felt like the king of France, Until the oven yelled, "Bro, this your last chance!" Stormed out, tripped, fell into a wormhole, Landed face-first in a bowl of coleslaw cold. Aliens in hoodies said, "What’s the vibe?" Handed me a kazoo and said, "Time to jive." Started a parade with a llama in shades, While flamingos did donuts on rollerblade blades. But then—snap—everything went black, And I woke up on a couch with a raccoon backpack. (Reality Check) Dude’s just chillin’ in a grocery cart, Face covered in frosting and lookin’ real smart. Security yellin’, "Yo, get off the cheese!" But he’s preachin’ Shakespeare to bags of peas. (Outro) Now I’m back in my room, lights too bright, Ceiling fan spinnin' with aggressive spite. Tried to drink water, but the glass said, "No!"
