Yo. Turn that bass up in my headphones, whoever is running the freakin’ soundboard. Oh yeah..... That’s the stuff. This one goes out to the moon-men, telemarketers, and every other freakin' weirdo ruining my weekends. I wake up, it’s two in the afternoon, right? I got a hangover that could kill a silverback. I look out my window, and what do I see? A giant freakin' alien spider eating my satellite dish! Are you kiddin’ me with this crap?! My lawn is scorched, my driveway's got a crater, And the talking box of cholesterol next door is giving me a lecture About the "interdimensional space-time continuum." Hey! Brainiac! Take a look at my face.... Does it look like I care? 'Cause none of this matters! None of it, pal! I don't care about the past, the future, or your sob story! None of this matters! Just get outta my yard! I got a hot date with a twenty-four pack of budget beer, And a inflatable hot tub that’s only a little moldy. Yeah! Meedley-meedley-mowww! Rock on! You guys got all these giant brains, Flying around, doing the... the wizard voodoo crap. Meanwhile, my Ford Pinto now needs a new transmission, And some swamp-monster you brought home just bit my freakin' toe off! Gawd damn! Do I get health insurance? No! Do I get a tax return? No! Do I get an apology? Hell No! I get the white trash brigade throwing cherry bombs at my back porch! I’m just tryin' to watch the Giants lose in peace, ya know? Is that too much to ask?! 'Cause none of this matters! It's all a joke! Your spaceship is stupid, and you're all jerks! None of this matters! I'm goin' inside! To eat cold chicken parm right out of the tin, While I test the elastic in my sweatpants! Bow-chicka-wow-wow... meedley-meedley-meedley-MOWWWWW! Yeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! That’s some high-quality execution right there! You hear that? That’s the talent you only get from not steppin' past the property line for four years! Commitment, Baebeee! 'Cause none of this matters! I'm completely detached! I ain't showered since last Tuesday and my psychiatrist dumped me! None of this matters! Existence is meaningless so Get off my property! Before I get the jumper cables and show you what "cosmic power" really means! Yeah. Shut it down. Come on now cut...cut the drums. Turn it off! Seriously, who's gonna clean up this melted chromatic crap on my driveway? ...Aw, son of a... it’s on my sweatpants... That better wash out... Whatever.... ..... I'm goin' to the online strip club before they decline my card again.... ....Meedley-meedley-meedley-MOWWWWW!... ... .... .......
