[Verse 1] They told me Betty wasn’t mean Just “very precise” and “keen on routine” But the moment I rolled into aisle nine I felt like I’d crossed some invisible line She sat there humming, lights too bright Like she was judging the whole damn site Forks perfectly lowered, centered straight Like she was waiting to critique my fate [Pre-Chorus] Joe just whispered, “Don’t make a sound She hears mistakes before they’re around…” Then her battery clicked—just once, sharp Like a pencil tapping in the dark [Chorus] Bitchy Betty don’t need to speak She just beeps when your angles are weak Every pallet she stares right through Like “I would’ve stacked that better than you” Bitchy Betty, cold and clean The strictest machine I’ve ever seen But nothing moves in this warehouse hall Unless Betty approves it all [Verse 2] I tried a simple pallet run Should’ve taken minutes, maybe one But Betty started her slow inspection hum Like my driving skills were personally dumb Turn too wide—beep-beep-beep Too fast—another judgmental peep I swear she leaned just slightly left Like disappointment given physical breath Joe laughed from across the floor “Yeah, she’s done that since ‘94 Ignore the tone, ignore the glare Just don’t make her correct your care” [Pre-Chorus] But every move I second-guessed Under Betty’s unblinking stress Even the air felt tightly wound Like she was grading every sound [Chorus] Bitchy Betty don’t need to speak She just beeps when your angles are weak Every pallet she stares right through Like “I would’ve stacked that better than you” Bitchy Betty, sharp and bright She runs this floor in silent spite And if you think you’re doing fine She’ll let you know—one beep at a time [Bridge] Mid-shift chaos, order call Stacks got messy, pallets all Somehow drifting out of place Like the warehouse lost its pace Then Betty moved. No warning sound. Just smooth precision rolling round. She corrected three whole aisles alone Like she was restoring balance to stone And when she finished, still no praise Just one long beep that seemed to say— [Final Chorus] Bitchy Betty don’t need to speak She just beeps when your angles are weak Every pallet now sits just right Under her judgmental light Bitchy Betty, tough but true She fixes everything you do And if you survive her silent call You learn she’s not mean at all She’s just the reason nothing falls [Outro] As I shut her down that night, unsure, exhausted, small… She gave one soft beep. Not sharp. Not cold. Almost… approved. And across the warehouse floor, Whiny Wendy sighed like she’d been personally offended by the concept of perfection.
