The Grand Absurd (Golemix)

[INTRO INSTRUMENTAL] Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Hoist the moon! Grease the wheels! Feed the trumpet to the eels! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! [VERSE 1] The gates burst open sideways And the horses all applaud The captain lost his trousers But he still believes in God The town crier is crying But he will not say what for The baker’s joined the navy In a bathtub built for war Left boot! Wrong foot! Smile for calamity! Left boot! Wrong foot! March with insanity! [PRE-CHORUS] There’s a crown on a cabbage There’s a judge in a jar There’s a marching band arguing With a stolen police car And the crowd screams louder As the bells all disagree “Is this the end?” No! “It’s pageantry!” [CHORUS] Ohhh! We march where the mad drums roll! Ahhh! With a wheelbarrow full of soul! Raise the flags! Ring the gongs! Everybody sing the wrong songs! Ohhh! We charge through The Grand Absurd! Ahhh! Too proud to understand a word! If the world won’t behave Then we’ll lead it in a parade! [VERSE 2] [GENERAL] Form a line! [CROWD] We formed a spiral! [GENERAL] That is not a line! [CROWD] It’s more theatrical! The minister of thunder Has misplaced the afternoon The royal choir’s levitating In a hot-air bassoon The children paint mustaches On the statues of the brave While the mayor gives a medal To a spoon he couldn’t save Forward! Sideways! Bless this monstrosity! Forward! Sideways! Victory by oddity! [PRE-CHORUS] There’s a goat with a gavel There’s a drum with a name There’s a cannon full of flowers And a flower full of blame And the sky cracks open Like a circus tambourine “Are we doomed?” Yes! “But elegantly!” [CHORUS] Ohhh! We march where the mad drums roll! Ahhh! With a wheelbarrow full of soul! Raise the flags! Ring the gongs! Everybody sing the wrong songs! Ohhh! We charge through The Grand Absurd! Ahhh! Too proud to understand a word! If the world won’t behave Then we’ll lead it in a parade! [BREAK] [BRIDGE] Step into the velvet panic Bow before the bread machine Spin until the floor feels holy Laugh until the knives turn green One for the king with the paper crown Two for the mule in the evening gown Three for the choir that refuses to drown Four for the town going upside down [RINGLEADER] Who brought the doom? [CROWD] We brought the doom! [RINGLEADER] Who brought the cake? [CROWD] We ate it too soon! [RINGLEADER] Who steers the beast? [CROWD] Nobody knows! [RINGLEADER] Then polish your boots [CROWD] And follow the hose! [BREAKDOWN] March! March! March! March! Stomp the dirt! Bite the bell! Teach the saints to polka well! March! March! March! March! Horns up high! Drums below! Make it huge and make it go! [Guitar Solo] Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! [FINAL CHORUS] Ohhh! We march where the mad drums roll! Ahhh! With a wheelbarrow full of soul! Raise the flags! Ring the gongs! Everybody sing the wrong songs! Ohhh! We charge through The Grand Absurd! Ahhh! Too proud to understand a word! If the world won’t behave Then we’ll lead it in a parade! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! We are foolish! We are grand! We are marching through the band! If the end is coming soon Put a tuba on the moon! [OUTRO INSTRUMENTAL] Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! The parade turns left The planet turns right The captain salutes A sandwich in flight Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! And still we march Into the light. Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! Ohhh-oh-ohhh! Ahhh-ah-ahhh! [End]