[Verse 1] Okay, picture this, it opens on a sad apartment Pizza boxes, posters, one sock, no carpet Our guy’s misunderstood, kind of schlubby, kind of deep He hates parties, loves vinyl, hasn’t showered this week He’s got a job that’s “nothing,” but it’s noble if you squint He makes jokes about society, that’s character, that’s print He’s invisible to women, which is tragic, which is true But stay with me, stay with me—this part’s gonna sell you [Pre-Chorus] It’s raw, it’s real, it’s autobiographical But universal, man, it’s totally marketable [Chorus] And then the beautiful woman falls in love with me… err, I mean with the fat ugly nerd It’s subversive, it’s brave, it’s never been heard She sees past all the abs and she chooses the fat ugly nerd [Verse 2] She’s smart but lost, conventionally stunning Thinks she’s “too much,” hates men who are running She dates models, musicians, emotionally dead But they don’t get her thoughts the way I get her head I mean—he gets her head, through long monologues About books no one’s read and existential blogs She laughs at his jokes, she admires his pain She says, “You’re different,” which is cinema-speak for “same” [Pre-Chorus] She’s a metaphor, a muse, a prize with agency Don’t worry, she’ll grow by validating me [Chorus] And then the beautiful woman falls in love with me… err, I mean with the fat ugly nerd No arc for her, but he’s finally heard When she falls for the soul of the fat ugly nerd [Bridge] It’s not a fantasy, it’s a statement on looks It’s about inner beauty, ignore the parts about books Sure, he never changes, sure, she compromises But that’s life, baby, and film festival prizes [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] By the third act, critics say it’s “quietly bold” They’ll call him “brave” for being awkward and old She leaves her world, her friends, her light To sit on his couch and watch him be right And if you feel weird, that just proves it’s smart If you’re uncomfortable, congrats—that’s art It ends on a smile, unresolved, absurd As the world rewards the fat ugly nerd [Chorus] Yeah, the beautiful woman falls in love with me… err, I mean with the fat ugly nerd Roll credits, play strings, let the audience learn That longing is depth when it’s worn by the fat ugly nerd [Outro] So... Sundance? A24? I can play the lead.
