[Verse 1] Sometimes, it’s not our tears that measure our pain But it’s the fake smiles we put on everyday I’m so tired of always acting like im okay But it’s just so much easier than even trying to explain How I feel to all these people who just can’t relate When I smile I wonder if they can see it’s fake Of if they can see the pain inside my very eyes Or I’ve become a master now at always wearing this disguise Because im hurting But I try my best to never show it Ask how I am, I say im good but I am at the lowest That I have been for as long as I’ve been alive I’m hurting but won’t let anyone know about what’s inside of me I’m in the depths of my own mind I feel like im drowning I’m fighting demons everyday But I feel surrounded This is a battle and im losing I can’t hold on no longer They say you grow from all your pain But im not getting stronger I’m getting weaker as every day passes by They told me that loves the answer I responded “That’s a lie” Cause I was in love and came out more broken than I went in Now every single day, im just waiting for heaven, cause [Chorus] I don’t wanna be alive But I don’t wanna take my life Cause im afraid of what’s on the other side of death Oh, I don’t wanna lose my mind And I don’t wanna say goodbye Oh, I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness [Verse 2] But every day is feeling just a little bit colder And everyday I feel this weight that’s falling down on my shoulders I understand it’s in my brain but still I feel I can’t hold it I feel like I am just a man but I’m trying to carry the boulders of weight To distract me from this pain Maybe I am just a fool that’s inflicting this in my brain And im on the highway that I been trying to avoid And still I wake up everyday shocked that im still destroyed, oh, I [Chorus] I don’t wanna be alive But I don’t wanna take my life Cause im afraid of what’s on the other side of this Oh, I don’t wanna lose my mind And I don’t wanna say goodbye Oh, I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness No, I don’t wanna be alive And I don’t wanna take my life ‘Cause im afraid of what’s on the other side
