Suicide Letter

We’ve all got stories in our lives that we’re not telling, Little demons hidden deep but somehow still excelling, Buried in the mind where the silence gives them shelter, You know it’s getting bad when you schedule time to fight them. Lightning strikes sharp and the outbursts frighten, Embarrassing and tiring, I’m battling, I’m trying, Trying to ring for help but nobody seems to hear it, Here lies the issue with the way I keep concealing. I’m feeling lost, so lost, Feeling cold like frost, Whispers from the past still crossing paths I haven’t crossed, Lost for the occasion, Poor little lazy lost Australian, Lost inside the maze that we all graze in for days end. Have you ever put yourself in this position? I never thought we’d be here, this wasn’t in my vision, This wasn’t my decision, This isn’t how it happens on television, Not the way we planned our lives, it feels like I failed the mission. I’m in a frail condition, Like I’m the failed edition, I try to tell the tale but no one ever wants to listen, All alone and no one’s home inside this mental prison, Standing at the exit lane, tempted by the distance. One last step, One last breath, One last mic check, Before the whole world fades into a silence I regret. And then I see it. Looking back down from somewhere I can’t measure, I’d never should’ve backed down from the pressure, If I could find a way to turn back time, I’d fight to have the chance and change that night. I’d do what I can, wherever I can, Whatever I can, give a right hand, To the right man, to his wife and, To the lost soul standing on the skyline. I’d tell him hold on, breathe for a second, This moment ain’t forever, it’s a wound with a lesson, Don’t trust the dark when it calls itself protection, Pain lies loud when it’s starving for connection. There’s still love that you haven’t let in, Still days that you haven’t met yet, Still people who would break if you left them, Still versions of yourself you haven’t stepped in. I know that cold room, I know that slow doom, I know that chest-tight silence when the walls move, But I also know one breath can become two, And one true voice can cut through. So I reach down now from the thought I never followed, Pull myself back from the edge of being hollow, Tears on my face but my lungs still borrowed, One more sunrise from a better tomorrow. No fake smile, no miracle cure, Just a shaking hand reaching out for more, A cracked-up heart still beating unsure, But beating means the fight ain’t over. I’m still here, I’m still breathing, Still broken but I’m healing, Still scared but I’m speaking, Still searching for meaning. I’m still here, I’m still breathing, Still falling but still reaching, If I can’t save myself tonight, I’ll let somebody reach me. What happened happened, but I’m not done, I’ve seen dark nights where the dawn won, I’ve felt shame weigh more than a loaded gun, But I stayed long enough to see another sun. Now if I see another man in that position, I won’t walk past with polite suspicion, I’ll sit beside him in the contradiction, And say, “mate, talk, I’ll listen.” Because we’ve all got stories in our lives that we’re not telling, Little demons hidden deep but they don’t own the ending, And maybe strength ain’t standing without bending, Maybe strength is staying when your soul feels like it’s ending. I’m still here, I’m still breathing, Still broken but I’m healing, Still scared but I’m speaking, Still searching for meaning. I’m still here, I’m still breathing, Still falling but still reaching, If I can’t save myself tonight, I’ll let somebody reach me. I’d do what I can, wherever I can, Whatever I can, give a right hand, To the right man, to his wife and, To the lost soul trying to find light again.