[EXPLOSIVE start that goes into verse 1 almost immediately] [Verse 1] Kids' movies back in the eighties, early nineties weren't much better. They'd show murder scenes to babies, then traumatize you all together. Atreyu screaming in the swamp, Artax sinking while the music goes soft. We were eight years old, what the hell was that? Mom said, “It’s just a movie.” Yeah. Thanks for that. [Pre-Chorus] Dead moms. Dark woods. Nightmares wearing childhood hoods. Cute little animals, friendly little sounds— STILL NOT AS FUCKED UP AS WATERSHIP DOWN. [Chorus] WATERSHIP DOWN! Jesus Christ! little rabbits paying the ultimate price! Blood in the grass! Eyes going round! STILL NOT AS FUCKED UP AS WATERSHIP DOWN! We saw some shit when we were young— but NOTHING like what WATERSHIP HAS DONE! [Verse 2] A toaster wandering through the waste, junkyard magnet coming down in your face. Littlefoot's mother dying in the rain, then the movie says, “have fun , kid. Process pain.” A shoe gets dipped while the villain grins, creepy-ass puppets with leathery skin. A wheel rolls out and a trucker's face bends— and somehow this was FOR THE KIDS, MY FRIENDS. [Pre-Chorus] Dead moms. Lost dogs. Witches hiding under logs. Every VHS could take you down— STILL NOT AS FUCKED UP AS WATERSHIP DOWN. WHOOOOOO!!!! [Chorus] WATERSHIP DOWN! Jesus Christ! little rabbits paying the ultimate price! Blood in the grass! Eyes going round! STILL NOT AS FUCKED UP AS WATERSHIP DOWN! We saw some shit when we were young— but NOTHING like what WATERSHIP HAS DONE! [Breakdown] Return to Oz? FUCKED UP. The Dark Crystal? FUCKED UP. Secret of NIMH? FUCKED UP. NeverEnding Story? THAT HORSE, MAN. THE FUCKING HORSE. [Gang Shout] OOOHHHHH, NO! little face goes from a grin to a frown! TEAR EACH OTHER APART WHILE THEY DROWN! WATERSHIP DOWN! WATERSHIP DOWN! OOOOHHHHH, NOOOOOO! WATERSHIP DOWN! [Bridge] Somewhere a parent grabbed a tape with rabbits drawn across the case. [nasally woman with a Minnesota accent]“Look, honey! A cartoon!” Forty minutes later— war crimes. [Final Chorus] WATERSHIP DOWN! Jesus Christ! Bunny rabbits paying the ultimate price! Teeth in the dark! Blood on the ground! STILL NOT AS FUCKED UP AS WATERSHIP DOWN! Traumatized kids all gathered 'round— THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, WATERSHIP DOWN! [Outro] [SPOKEN, announcer's voice] "Rated PG- Parental Guidance suggested."
