i think

Where am I… is this my life? Memphis laughing, Lincoln by my side Shady was my first baby How am I the one keeping everyone alright?? They say it’s easy, Just do what you can I might be married still… im alone with this man We don’t talk much But he’s got opinions to say Funny thing is its embarrassing to replay I can’t name a time it felt okay ⸻ Viral Chorus I think I’m being abused I think he likes when I hurt Tell me why loving hard Only made it worse I’m a momma so lonely With no self-worth left Still holding my babies With a knife in my chest I think I’m being abused God I wish I was wrong But the silence gets louder Every night he’s gone I’m a momma so lonely Trying hard not to burst Still holding my babies While I’m dying the worst ⸻ Hook / Chant Line (the viral repeat) I thought love was supposed to save me Not slowly erase me (repeat after every chorus) ⸻ Verse 2 First night I saw it He slapped some girl on the ass she fell to the ground her hand was bleeding and he sat back … he laughed Messing with the gear shift Like the whole world was a gag like my pleads were a chant That look in his eyes Something devilish there But I looked right back Like maybe he cared Birthdays, Christmas Girls dancing in my house Fondeling my friends While he stood there proud And one night I broke Piggy bank at his head Screaming would you love me If I looked like her more got sent to the hospital he visited me in the psych ward then to the beach with a tramp ⸻ Chorus I think I’m being abused I think he likes when I hurt Tell me why loving hard Only made it worse I’m a momma so lonely With no self-worth left Still holding my babies With a knife in my chest ⸻ Bridge (emotional explosion) At the ultrasound two babies found He made some money we kept it in the drawer We lived at my grandmas we were flat poor I was sleeping and he took it out A motorcycle a mistress I was pregnant and i just coulnt wrap my head still i let him come home just as soon as he left Kitchen floor crying Pills in my hand While the man that I married Just filmed where I stand He knew I wouldn’t do it Knew I’d stay alive But something inside me That night finally died & the rest when he sent it around You can drink every bottle You can swallow every pill But nothing numbs heartbreak And nothing ever will I looked in the mirror Didn’t know that girl’s face Just two little babies Lifeless tired faceeeee ⸻ Final Chorus (power) I was being abused He knew exactly what he’d do Every word like a knife Every lie cutting through I’m a momma not broken Just waking up slow And the man who tried killing me Wont stop until i fold I thought love was supposed to save me Not slowly erase me ⸻ Outro Looked at my twins Said it ends with me No man gets to write Their life story Filled my own cup Like he said I could not Turns out the woman I lost Was the strongest I got