Carriages

[Intro – low, monotone melody] Every night feel like interest on sleep I can’t afford I keep wakin’ up more tired than the version of me I was tryna run from [Verse 1 – Hip Hop] Still sleepin’ on the side you used to push me to even though it dips now even though you don’t I been talkin’ in my dreams ’cause I got no one else to lie to Even my reflection blink first these days like he’s tired of pretendin' too I swear your name's still in my autocorrect But I let it stay 'Cause if I delete it it means I noticed you gone [Chorus – Sung, melodic] Rode carriages where every seat remembers a body too well. Warm where no one’s sitting, humid with someone else's panic. Sat by the window to watch myself vanish. My reflection sad and gassed blurred each time a station passed [Verse 2 – Hip Hop] Dropped two tabs in the bottle by mistake Didn’t mean to but I still didn’t stop Felt like God blinked and I got skipped like my prayers were on mute and heaven had bad signal My boy said I been different I said “nah just more honest” but I ain’t sure I think I cracked somewhere last March and the leaks just sound like music If you ask me where it hurts I’ll hand you my playlist skip track 6 skip track 10 skip everything I wrote at night [Chorus – Sung, melodic] Rode carriages where every seat remembers a body too well. Warm where no one’s sitting, humid with someone else's panic. Sat by the window to watch myself vanish. My reflection sad and gassed blurred each time a station passed [Verse 3 – Hip Hop] She said I loved her but I never let her see me full just flashes, shadows, half a voice in her ear at 4am I been spillin’ out in cups I can’t refill Searchin’ for my pulse in 808s Hopin’ the drop brings me back even for a verse Tryna loop my grief into a hook Tryna kiss goodbye without pressin’ send But I can’t ghost what’s already dead So I just haunt my own texts leave them in drafts like tombstones no one visits [Hook – Soulful, Motown-style singing] I remember watchin’ you brush your teeth in my shirt and thinkin’ that’s what forever look like not rings, not vows, just quiet and mine and enough And now I kiss strangers who use the same toothpaste and I flinch [Chorus – Sung, melodic] Rode carriages where every seat remembers a body too well. Warm where no one’s sitting, humid with someone else's panic. Sat by the window to watch myself vanish. My reflection sad and gassed blurred each time a station passed [Outro – Barely sung, hushed tone] I got four alarms and none of them wake me I got three regrets and none of them leave me I got two eyes but I see you in both I got one version of you left and she’s still in my phone talkin’ back from three years ago