[Intro] Ooo-oo-ah Oo-oo-ah [Verse 1] Walked through the door, said it'd be a breeze Now you're stuck in the hall with the hamster disease Twenty bad endings and you keep dying dumb Drained the pool too early — look what you've become [Verse 2] You'll try the same thing seventeen times Wonder why the chainsaw never starts on time Mailed the wrong tape, fed the tentacle wrong Now there's no one left alive to sing this song [Pre-chorus] Somebody's gotta tell you, might as well be me You keep making choices like you're dying to see What's behind door number ten — Well, congratulations, you did it again [Chorus] Don't be a tuna head! Don't be a tuna head! Think before you walk into that lab Don't be a tuna — head! You had six friends and now they're dead — Don't be a tuna head! [Verse 3] Edna's got a needle, Fred's got a plan The meteor's directing like a one-man band You could've saved Sandy, could've saved the day Instead you're floating face-down — okay! [Bridge — half-spoken, mocking] It's not that hard, there's a system to the madness Quit microwaving things out of boredom or sadness Save your disk, save your friends, save your skin — Or don't — and lose again [Final chorus — screamed, chaotic] DON'T BE A TUNA HEAD! DON'T BE A TUNA — HEAD! Six tries down and you're still in the red — DON'T. BE. A TUNA HEAD! [Outro, deadpan] ...try again.
