*JASON THE KILLING COCK-BLOCKER* Friday night, the moon is up there in the sky... Teens are sipping drinks, yeah, getting stupid hiiigh! But by the lake... The fog is rolling on the surface, And a couple kids are getting nervous, They spot a weird-ass shape in the trees... Just some guy? And there's something about him that screams... WE GOTTA LEAVE TONIGHT! Hockey mask on his face and blade in his hand, Fenestrating little stoner nymphos before they can pull up their pants! No skinny-dipping, no Molly-tripping, No one's gonna get to hook up! It's a cock-blocking killing when Jason shows up! You're about to kiss, But Voorhees is right there in a flash... And with a flick of his wrist, Her head falls off into your la–a–ap! He doesn't give a FUCK. If you two are in love... He's a killer cock-blocking beast— The least you can be is fuckin' GONE! Mask on his face and blade in his hand! Dismembering your crew while you scream in the sand! No, it doesn't matter the size of your cock, It all seems useless when your face is caved in with a rock! Oh–oh–oh–oh–oh! Well, in a way, everybody is still pretty FUCKED! Because it's a cock-blocking killing when Jason shows up! You thought this summer down by Crystal Lake, You and your lover could be one and celebrate... But look who's back, blood-covered from an earlier attack! Taking his machete and shoving it up your ass! He's gutting kids, Doesn't give two shits, If they're going to fuck around, He will gladly bleed them out! From cabins to docks, he's shutting it down, The Camp Crystal Lake cock-blocker is back in town! He never speaks, But his message is clear: If you're gonna drug it up and have sex, He will make you disappear! A true third wheel in a slasher disguise, Don't let Voorhees catch you; he'll rip out your spine And gouge out your eyes! Surprise. Mask on his face and blade in his hand, Chucking little druggie shits through every window that he can! So go right ahead and camp out with that blunt, Before you know it, Voorhees will rush you with a grunt! Take his blade and shove it through your front, Hack and slash you down to stumps! Watch as blood sprays him in a gush, There won't be anything left of you to reconstruct... Oh–oh–oh, well, in a way, everyone's still pretty fucked, Because it's a cock-blocking killing when Jason shows up! If you wanna get out, good luck!
