It was Sunday at four, and the cupboard was bare, I looked at my Gary, asleep in his chair. I tapped on his shoulder, my voice full of dread, "I need a quick favour," is what I then said. "I'm out of the items that come in a pack," He looked at me blankly, his posture went slack. "Can't you use kitchen roll?" he asked with a whine, I gave him a look that chilled right down his spine. The colour drained out of his cheeks and his nose, As if I had asked him to fight all our foes! Oh, the terror of the sanitary aisle! It strips a brave man of his confidence and smile. He’ll face a stampede or a dark, haunted house, But he trembles at plastic wrapped up for his spouse. Yes, he’ll conquer a mountain, he’ll wrestle a bear, But ask for some Tampax, he’s gasping for air! He grabbed his thick coat and he braved the monsoon, While I poured some Pinot that same afternoon. The girls had come over, all cheer and delight, (Giggles) Just having a gossip and starting the night. When suddenly, tragically, my phone rang clear, I put it on speaker, so the girls could all hear. (Hehe) Not knowing my dignity would slip away. "Hello?" I said sweetly, amid all the chat, A loud, frantic whisper came back, "Where's it at?!" "I'm stood in the aisle, Vick, there's hundreds of things! Do you want the silk-touch? Do you need them with wings? There's heavy and normal and overnight flow! Are you heavy or normal, I just need to know!" Oh, the terror of the sanitary aisle! It strips a brave man of his confidence and smile. He’ll face a stampede or a dark, haunted house, But he trembles at plastic wrapped up for his spouse. Yes, he’ll conquer a mountain, he’ll wrestle a bear, But ask for some Tampax, he’s gasping for air! He shouted it out to the whole local Boots, While my friends choked on wine in their stylish jumpsuits. (Giggles) He bought me five packets, some wipes, and a mop, And now Gary's banned from the pharmacy shop. (Hehehe) Ugh. Bless him. (Sigh)
