Twenty daaays… Twenty daaays… The mountain has accepted us… The calves are willing… The quads are not… Amen. … OI! DAY TWENTY! WHO STOLE MY HAMSTRINGS? I LEFT THEM SOMEWHERE ON A FIRE ROAD! RUN! HIKE! SURVIVE! I GOT POLES ON MY POLES, GELS IN MY VEST, SWEAT IN MY EYES, NO FEELING LEFT! I CLIMB! YOU CLIMB! WE CLIMB! WHY?! Because apparently… this is what happiness looks like. ♪ Maybe tomorrow… We’ll finally rest… No… Tomorrow’s two thousand one hundred. … NOOOOOOOOO!! I DON’T NEED THERAPY! I NEED ANOTHER HILL!! I DON’T NEED CLOSURE! I NEED ELEVATION!! EVERYBODY! GAIN! GAIN! GAIN! GAIN! … Ladies and gentlemen… Congratulations. You have voluntarily paid money… to repeatedly walk uphill… for absolutely no reason. Outstanding work. ♪ Mum says, “Why don’t you just run somewhere flat?” WE DON’T SAY THAT NAME IN THIS HOUSE! FLAT IS A MYTH! FLAT IS A LIE! FLAT IS WHAT ROAD RUNNERS DO!! ♪ Brothers… Sisters… Vertathletes… If you survive today… And survive tomorrow… The mountain shall reward thee… Twenty percent off Kinisi! A glorious Speed Lid from Mountain Skag! A FREE PAIR OF CREEPERS!! AAAAAAAAMEN!! ♪ CREEEEEEEEEEEPERS!! KINISIIIIIIIIIIII!! MOUNTAIN SKAAAAAAAAAAAG!! THE DISCOUNTS ARE ASCENDING!! ♪ Excuse me… Can somebody explain… why every hill… has another hill… behind it? ♪ THIS MOUNTAIN… ISN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF MY LUNGS!! BLEGH!! I HAVE BECOME… ONE… WITH… THE STAIRCASE!! ♪ Softly… Quietly… We’re nearly there… Three whole weeks… Twenty-one straight days… Thousands… upon thousands… of metres… No shortcuts. No banking. No excuses. Only… up. ♪ WAIT!! WHAT’S THAT ON THE HORIZON?! IS IT… THE SUMMIT?! … No. It’s another bloody false summit. ♪ SO WE CLIMB!! WE CLIMB!! WE CLIMB!! WE CLIMB!! WE CLIMB UNTIL THE MOUNTAIN GETS TIRED OF US!! RUN!! HIKE!! SURVIVE!! RUN!! HIKE!! SURVIVE!! RUN!! HIKE!! SURVIVE!! … … … See you tomorrow… For two thousand one hundred.
