Cartel Break (Skit)

Dialogue (bar ambiance, low G-Funk beat in the background, ice clinking in glasses, dark atmosphere) Elf 1 (voice tired but sarcastic): Man… ever since Santa flipped the script, it’s been all about that Christmas Weed. No more toys, no more candy canes… just kilos of green. Elf 2 (laughing): Yeah, remember when we used to build toy trains? Now we’re shipping bags. Never thought I'd be rollin' in Santa’s cartel. Elf 3 (sighing): It’s the hustle, man. Santa’s turned cold. But we’re in deep now… no turnin’ back. Santa (enters, deep voice, commanding): What the hell y’all laughin' about? Y’all forgettin' who’s payin’ for those fancy sleigh rides? This isn’t playtime, boys. We run this North Coast game now. Elf 1 (smirking): Yeah, yeah, Santa… we know. Just taking a quick break. Ain’t nobody forgettin' who the boss is. Elf 2 (joking): We get it, big guy. No toys under the tree this year… only that “special delivery.” Santa (growling, but with a grin): Keep it up, or I’ll ship you both with the next batch. The reindeer can handle more than just toys, you know. Elf 3 (laughing nervously): Alright, alright, back to work. But you gotta admit, Santa… this empire? It’s something else. We’re the kings of Christmas now. Santa (grinning): Damn right. North Coast runnin' this… from the Pole to the streets. (Sounds of glasses clinking, laughter, and the low hum of sleigh bells as the skit transitions smoothly into the next track.)