I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus (Punk)

I saw Mummy kissin' Santa Claus WHAT DA 'ELL DOES SHE FINK SHE WAZ DOIN'?!! Underneath the mistletoe last night OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!! She didn't see me creep BUT HE BLOOMIN" LOOKED LIKE ONE!! Down the stairs to have a peep PEEP?...PEEP... MORE LIKE A PEEP SHOW!! She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep I WAS BUSY SPANKIN' ...THE MONKEY!!!" Then, I saw Mummy tickle Santa Claus THIS IS GETTIN" OUT'A HAND!! Underneath his beard so snowy white SNOW?... SNOW? DID SOMEONE SAY SNOW?!!" Oh, what a laugh it would have been LAUGH!! ARE YOU 'AVIN' A LAFF?!! If Daddy had only seen HE WOULD'A TURNED GREEN!! Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night SHE WAS RIGHT "AVIN" A SNOG! ...SHE WAS!! Then, I saw Mummy tickle Santa Claus OKAY... NOW THIS IS TOO BLEEDIN' MUCH!! Underneath his beard so snowy white "QUICK, STASH IT, I FINK I SAW DA COPS!! Oh, what a laugh it would have been LAUGH!! ARE YOU STILL 'AVIN' A LAFF?!! If Daddy had only seen HE'D GO GET HIS SHOOT-TA!!! HE'D BLOW HIM AWAAA-AAYYY!! Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night HE'D BE... DEAD!!!!! Oh, what a laugh it would have been I'LL TELL YOU HOW'S HAVIN' A LAUGH!! If Daddy had only seen DON'T EVEN GO THERE!! Mommy SNOGIN' Santa Claus last night?!! HE'D BE..... DEAD!! AS A BLEEDIN' DOOR-NAIL!!