Two A.M., the house is sleeping, Sneaking softly, sensors beeping. Mission briefing: PIE DETECTED Target location: FRIDGE SELECTED Tiptoe left, then tiptoe right, Stealth mode activated tonight. I open up the sacred door There it is… I want it more. My mouth is open, victory near, I can almost taste the frontier Then suddenly... LIGHTS ON! LIGHTS ON! The whole operation’s gone! Mission failed, my stealth is dead, I should’ve saved before I fled. This isn’t some computer game, No checkpoints with my name. No “LOAD LAST SAVE” , no extra life My health bar’s dropping: CRITICAL! Frozen there like a loading screen, Caught by the fridge’s laser beam. The pie is laughing in my face, While I have lost the hiding race. Where’s my inventory? Where’s my shield? Why does real life refuse to yield? In games I’d simply press F5 And respawn somewhere far more safe. One tiny bite, that was the plan, A flawless midnight food heist But now I’m standing in the light like Well… this was poorly optimized. LIGHTS ON! LIGHTS ON! The whole operation’s gone! Mission failed, my stealth is dead, I should’ve saved before I fled. This isn’t some computer game, No checkpoints with my name. No “LOAD LAST SAVE”, no extra life My health bar’s dropping: CRITICAL! System: ERROR! Stealth: ZERO! Access: DENIED! Player status: TERRIFIED! I need a save point! I need a checkpoint! I need a magical button saying: “UNDO THAT MOMENT!” But there is none… There is no respawn… There’s only me… And this refrigerator… LIGHTS ON! LIGHTS ON! My midnight quest is gone! The pie remains undefeated, My dignity has been deleted. If real life had a game menu, I’d save before I entered the room. But here I am with one life left Next mission: ESCAPE (without stepping on the floorboards) New objective: RETURN TO BED Reward: ABSOLUTELY NO PIE
