[Verse 1] Woke up this morning feelin’ pretty great, Then I cried because my toast came out a little late. Forgot why I walked into the laundry room, Found my keys in the fridge next to the mushrooms. My knees are making sounds like a haunted house, And I just snapped at the dog and apologized to the couch. Google says it’s hormones, friends say “you’re fine,” But I just put my reading glasses on to find my reading glasses twice. [Pre-Chorus] One minute I’m freezing, next minute I’m lava, My thermostat’s possessed and causing all the drama. [Chorus] Is it hot in here or am I just existing? Why am I sweating while the snow outside is glistening? I need a fan, a nap, a snack, and maybe a vacation, And somebody explain this hormonal situation. I came in like a queen, now I’m fanning with a menu, Forgot what I was saying halfway through the venue. If wisdom comes with age, then where’s my compensation? I’m surviving perimenopause with determination! [Verse 2] My playlist’s on the nineties, my back’s on strike, And somehow sleeping eight hours still feels like a hike. I used to drink coffee after six with no regrets, Now one little espresso and I’m awake till the next Olympics. I bought a cute planner to organize my life, Lost it three days later while looking for a knife. Found it in the bathroom underneath the sink, Don’t ask me how it got there—I honestly can’t think. [Pre-Chorus] I laughed so hard I almost had a tiny emergency, Nobody warned me this was part of maturity. [Chorus] Is it hot in here or am I just existing? Why am I sweating while the snow outside is glistening? I need a fan, a nap, a snack, and maybe a vacation, And somebody explain this hormonal situation. I came in like a queen, now I’m fanning with a menu, Forgot what I was saying halfway through the venue. If wisdom comes with age, then where’s my compensation? I’m surviving perimenopause with determination! [Bridge] I’ve got emergency chocolate in three different places, A portable fan and forty-seven reading glasses. I’m stronger than I look and funnier than before, But if somebody touches my thermostat, we’re going to war. [Final Chorus] It’s definitely hot in here and I’m done pretending, My body’s writing plot twists I did not see coming. But I’ll keep dancing through the chaos and the perspiration, A slightly sweaty legend of this generation. [Outro] Hot flash… Brain fog… Where’s my phone? …Oh. It’s in my hand.
