[Intro] (Right, pour the Earl Grey, would you? We have patrons arriving.) Ahem. Step into the parlor, wipe your brogues upon the mat. Leave your common preconceptions with your walking stick and hat. [Verse One] Welcome to the sanctum where the connoisseurs reside, Where the locally produced narcotics are a source of civic pride. We completely ban the squalor of your typical estate, Every crystal we distribute is immaculate and great. It is ethically sourced from a sustainable plateau, Synthesized with baking soda artisanally, you know. Zero fake adulterations in the product we supply, Just an absolutely spiffing, unequivocally high. We have swapped the dirty spoons for sterling silver serving ware, And the atmosphere is curated with aromatic air. It is quite the demographic shift, a gentrified milieu, Where the clientele is reading existentialist review. [Chorus] At the bespoke base, where the gentry come to chase, With a monocle affixed and a meticulously tailored space. It is organic, panoramic, botanically refined, The most incredibly respectable establishment you will find. (Quite right, quite right!) It is an artisanal ascent for the elevated mind! [Verse Two] Now the pipe is carved from bamboo, it is carbon neutral, mate, And the lighter is a vintage piece from eighteen ninety eight. Observe the architecture with its neo gothic charm, As the chemical euphoric starts injecting in the arm. We have sommelier selections for your stimulant request, Will it be the citrus finish or the Himalayan crest? Every rock is hand selected by a man named Alistair, Who meticulously monitors the purity and flair. Notice how the polysyllables are dancing on the beat, While the clientele is tapping their bespoke Italian feet. We are circumventing constables with absolute finesse, Operating an apothecary out of this address. [Chorus] At the bespoke base, where the gentry come to chase, With a monocle affixed and a meticulously tailored space. It is organic, panoramic, botanically refined, The most incredibly respectable establishment you will find. (Quite right, quite right!) It is an artisanal ascent for the elevated mind! [Bridge] [Double Time Flow] Now let me demonstrate the lexicon, the lexical dexterity, Administering syllables with absolute severity. We elevate the substance with a cultural integrity, A marvelous phenomenon of upper class prosperity. Precipitating particles with proper preparation, A dignified delivery, a posh hallucination. Intoxicating gentlemen with flawless elocution, An utterly meticulous and proper execution! [Instrumental Interlude] [Muted trumpet solo over plucked double bass] [Verse Three] If the local planners saw us, they would probably applaud, For we operate a business that is wonderfully unawed. It is community enrichment with a recreational twist, The most positively splendid little parlor on the list. So abandon your assumptions of a derelict decay, We are serving up a masterclass in elegant ballet. Just a modest little enterprise, an artisan boutique, For the thoroughly distinguished and the wonderfully unique. [Chorus] At the bespoke base, where the gentry come to chase, With a monocle affixed and a meticulously tailored space. It is organic, panoramic, botanically refined, The most incredibly respectable establishment you will find. (Quite right, quite right!) It is an artisanal ascent for the elevated mind! [Outro] (Jolly good show.) Mind the step on your way out, sir. Do leave a review on the community bulletin. Cheerio. [End]
