Four-Month-Old Roommate

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“Four-Month-Old Roommate”

Verse 1
We used to be wild, we used to be free,
Dinner at eight, then drinks by three.
Now we’re in bed before the moon gets high,
Not for romance — just trying not to die.

I got spit-up on my good black shirt,
There’s a diaper in the trash that could make ghosts hurt.
We whisper sweet nothings in a tired little tone,
Like, “Did you wash bottles?” and “Where’s my phone?”

Chorus
We got a four-month-old roommate, running this place,
Tiny little boss with a judgmental face.
Can’t go out, can’t stay in, can’t find clean pants,
Can’t even sneak off for a little grown-up dance.

Every time we get close, she starts to shout,
Like she knows what we’re thinking and she’s grossed out.
Love is alive, but the mood got wrecked —
By a baby monitor and a tiny sound check.

Verse 2
Tried to get a sitter, made three phone calls,
Everybody vanished like we owed them all.
Grandma said, “Maybe,” then changed her tone,
Now we’re eating cold tacos on the couch alone.

Netflix asks, “Are you still watching this?”
Baby says, “Nope,” with a rage-filled hiss.
We haven’t seen a movie, we haven’t seen friends,
But we’ve seen 4 a.m. again and again.

Every time we get close, she starts to shout,
Like she knows what we’re thinking and she’s grossed out.
Love is alive, but the mood got wrecked —
By a baby monitor and a tiny sound check.

Bridge
We used to talk dirty, now it’s more like, “Did she poop?”
“Is that a rash?” “Did you sterilize the scoop?”
Romance ain’t dead, it’s just under the swing,
Beside a pacifier and a teething ring.

We tried some candles, tried locking the door,
Then she sneezed once and we hit the floor.
Nothing says passion like panic and fear,
And one of us whispering, “Did you just hear?”

Verse 3
She’s cute as a button, she’s sweet as pie,
She stole our sleep and our social lives.
She smiles one time and we both forget,
That neither one of us has showered yet.

The house is a mess, but our hearts are full,
We’re running on fumes and cold Red Bull.
We used to chase dreams, now we chase wipes,
And argue about bottles in the middle of the night.

Final Chorus
We got a four-month-old roommate, queen of the bed,
Kicking little feet like she pays the rent.
Can’t go out, can’t nap, can’t make big plans,
Can’t even flirt without washing our hands.

Every time we get close, she clears her throat,
From the bassinet like, “Absolutely nope.”
Love is alive, we’re just sleep-deprived,
Trying to keep romance barely alive.

Outro
So raise a warm bottle to moms and dads,
To missing our freedom, but not being mad.
Yeah, life got louder, messier, strange —
But that little dictator was worth the change.

2859/7500

“Four-Month-Old Roommate” Verse 1 We used to be wild, we used to be free, Dinner at eight, then drinks by three. Now we’re in bed before the moon gets high, Not for romance — just trying not to die. I got spit-up on my good black shirt, There’s a diaper in the trash that could make ghosts hurt. We whisper sweet nothings in a tired little tone, Like, “Did you wash bottles?” and “Where’s my phone?” Chorus We got a four-month-old roommate, running this place, Tiny little boss with a judgmental face. Can’t go out, can’t stay in, can’t find clean pants, Can’t even sneak off for a little grown-up dance. Every time we get close, she starts to shout, Like she knows what we’re thinking and she’s grossed out. Love is alive, but the mood got wrecked — By a baby monitor and a tiny sound check. Verse 2 Tried to get a sitter, made three phone calls, Everybody vanished like we owed them all. Grandma said, “Maybe,” then changed her tone, Now we’re eating cold tacos on the couch alone. Netflix asks, “Are you still watching this?” Baby says, “Nope,” with a rage-filled hiss. We haven’t seen a movie, we haven’t seen friends, But we’ve seen 4 a.m. again and again. Chorus We got a four-month-old roommate, running this place, Tiny little boss with a judgmental face. Can’t go out, can’t stay in, can’t find clean pants, Can’t even sneak off for a little grown-up dance. Every time we get close, she starts to shout, Like she knows what we’re thinking and she’s grossed out. Love is alive, but the mood got wrecked — By a baby monitor and a tiny sound check. Bridge We used to talk dirty, now it’s more like, “Did she poop?” “Is that a rash?” “Did you sterilize the scoop?” Romance ain’t dead, it’s just under the swing, Beside a pacifier and a teething ring. We tried some candles, tried locking the door, Then she sneezed once and we hit the floor. Nothing says passion like panic and fear, And one of us whispering, “Did you just hear?” Verse 3 She’s cute as a button, she’s sweet as pie, She stole our sleep and our social lives. She smiles one time and we both forget, That neither one of us has showered yet. The house is a mess, but our hearts are full, We’re running on fumes and cold Red Bull. We used to chase dreams, now we chase wipes, And argue about bottles in the middle of the night. Final Chorus We got a four-month-old roommate, queen of the bed, Kicking little feet like she pays the rent. Can’t go out, can’t nap, can’t make big plans, Can’t even flirt without washing our hands. Every time we get close, she clears her throat, From the bassinet like, “Absolutely nope.” Love is alive, we’re just sleep-deprived, Trying to keep romance barely alive. Outro So raise a warm bottle to moms and dads, To missing our freedom, but not being mad. Yeah, life got louder, messier, strange — But that little dictator was worth the change.

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