[Intro – Spoken, calm & sarcastic] I don’t judge. I just pray. Pray that your brand gets the help it needs. Pray them engagement numbers come back home. Bless your brand… She tryna be somebody. [Verse 1 – Male voice, chill rap tone] Your funnel got no filter. Your deck got trauma font. Said “I’m booked out through December” ...That ain’t what your inbox want. Every post say “value” — I ain’t seen it once. You put a hashtag on a Bible verse Then pitched your brunch. You call it strategy? I call it luck. You call it clean? That kerning’s stuck. “New logo drop” — Bro, it’s the same as last. If bad taste was a business plan, You’d scale so fast. [Hook – Melodic, soft flex tone] Bless your brand. Hope it lands. Hope your team stops using Comic Sans. Hope you niche down. Hope you find voice. Hope your “vibe” becomes a real choice. Bless your brand. Do your thing. Hope your course don’t crash on opening. No shade… just prayer. Just peace. Just hope your launch page finally gets some leads. [Verse 2 – Female voice, laid-back sass] You sell clarity, but you post chaos. Said you got proof — I saw the layoffs. Said you do brand, but that grid say blog. That “moodboard energy” feel like fog. You got that 5-step plan with no receipts. A vibe coach that don't repeat. You talkin' “luxury,” but I see stress. That Reels audio screaming “more, not less!” [Bridge – Spoken, dry tone] Your brand ain’t bad. It’s just... confused. Like it read three marketing books at once. Then cried in a carous— [Final Hook – mellow duet style] Bless your brand. You almost there. Hope that freebie’s not just hot air. Hope that coach you paid delivers. Hope your webinar finally gets clickers. Bless your brand. No hard feelings. Just pray that vibe deck starts healing. Hope them ads don’t burn your spend. Hope that founder era comes to an end.
