[Intro – stomp, toms, octafuzz riff] [Verse 1] Said be there in a minute, just a short damn walk Snow on the ground but I still wanna talk No coat, no plan, no second thought Confidence high, IQ shot Wind hit hard like it took it personal Cut straight through me, fuckin’ unbearable Shoulda turned back, frostbite scene Just a moron freezin’ in busted jeans [Pre-Chorus] Started feelin’ nothin’, said “I’m good” Hypothermia said “yeah, you would” Hands still work, brain is serene Didn’t feel a damn thing on the peen Then it hit me… Yeah it hit me like a— [Chorus – gang vocals] Fried! Iced! Peen! I can’t feel a motherfuckin’ thing! Fried! Iced! Peen! This is a goddamn emergency! [Verse 2] Keys in hand but they won’t turn right This went sideways fuckin’ fast tonight Huffin and puffin’ like I’m dyin’ on screen Didn’t plan on losin’ feelin’ in my peen Standin’ here pretendin’ I’m still in control While my dick’s actively losin’ its soul Thought I could outlast the freeze Cold took one look and disagreed [Pre-Chorus] Every step feelin’ worse than before Still actin’ tough while I’m losin’ the war Talkin’ big, body sayin’ “no” Too proud to admit I gotta go [Chorus – bigger, louder] Fried! Iced! Peen! Fried! Iced! Peen! [Bridge – half-time, low and heavy] Standing there with my dick in a deep freeze Regret settin’ in immediately This ain’t brave, this ain’t grit This is frostbite on my fucking dick Thought I was built for the cold Turns out my dick missed the memo [Guitar Solo – sloppy, heroic, way too long] [Breakdown – everything drops] This is not a metaphor. This is a real problem. [Final Chorus – all in] Fried! Iced! Peen! That’s the cost of thinkin’ that you’re Wolverine Fried! Iced! Peen! Public psa from stupidity Fried! Iced! Peen! Learned my lesson very fuckin’ painfully Fried! Iced! Peen! Don’t be fucking stupid in the cold like me [Outro – riff rings out]
