[Verse 1: The Mud & The Muck] Yo, look at the crown, then look at the dirt I was born in the muck, baptized in the hurt No knight in armor, no shining facade Just a bald-headed peasant playing hand-of-god. Mama’s in the hut screaming, “Plow the field!” But I’m looking for a horse and a wooden shield. I’m the original drifter, four-legged slide If it’s got a saddle, then it’s mine to ride. Punch out the bard, change the track to a banger Left the stable empty, left the Duke in anger. I don’t need a crest or a family tree Just a fast mare and a path that’s free. [Chorus] I’m a Rustler, hustler, a medieval king I hear the sirens wail and crossbows sing! Blue and red lights on the back of a stallion I’m stealing the crown and the gold medallion. Hide in the barn, get the horse repainted The Guy’s on the loose and the kingdom is tainted! [Verse 2: The Scam & The Scheme] The Grand Tournament? Yeah, that’s the play But they don’t let a peasant in the sun today. So I’m hitting up Buddy, he’s got brains, but he's not very bright Forging the papers in the dead of the night. “Sir Guy of Nowhere,” yeah, it’s got a ring Scamming my way to the hand of the King. We need the gold, we need the prestige I’m a one-man army, a walking siege. Lancing the nobles, knocking 'em flat Buddy’s in the corner with a forged-up stat. We’re crashing the party, we’re breaking the gate While the "High-Born" fools leave it all up to fate. [Chorus] I’m a Rustler, hustler, a medieval king I hear the sirens wail and crossbows sing! Blue and red lights on the back of a stallion I’m stealing the crown and the gold medallion. Hide in the barn, get the horse repainted The Guy’s on the loose and the kingdom is tainted! [Verse 3: The Rogues' Gallery] The Priest wants a tithe? Man, I’ll give him a fist He’s preaching for gold while he’s getting dismissed. Holy Hand Grenades for the sins of the city The Spanish Inquisition? Nah, they ain’t got no pity. Then there’s Herb and his bandits, think they tough Till I jack their ride and I treat 'em real rough. Met a Witch in the woods with a cauldron of brew She gave me a quest and a curse for the crew. The Nobles are snobs with their noses in the air But they bleed just the same when I’m stripping 'em bare. From the dungeon floor to the top of the spire Everything I touch is catching on fire! [Chorus] I’m a Rustler, hustler, a medieval king I hear the sirens wail and crossbows sing! Blue and red lights on the back of a stallion I’m stealing the crown and the gold medallion. Hide in the barn, get the horse repainted The Guy’s on the loose and the kingdom is tainted!
0/500