NINE LIVES AND A LIVING DICTIONARY [Verse 1] They say a cat has nine whole lives, I heard it somewhere, maybe twice. But who decided nine was right? Was someone counting every night? I checked the shelf from A to Z, For proof of feline mystery. I found “cat,” I found “claw,” But nothing that explained it all. So I asked the librarian, “Can you tell me if it’s true?” She pushed her glasses down and said, “I wouldn’t ask if I were you!” [Pre-Chorus] Is it science? Is it fiction? Is it ancient superstition? If the answer’s written somewhere, Show me where and I’ll believe! [Chorus] Does a cat have nine lives? Nine lives, nine lives? Does a cat have nine lives, Or is somebody telling lies? Check the dictionary, Look on every page! Maybe there’s an answer That has waited there for ages. Nine lives, nine lives, Who counted one through nine? And if a cat has nine of them, Could I borrow one sometime? [Verse 2] I opened up a giant book, And suddenly the table shook. The pages fluttered left and right, The letters danced before my sight. Then from somewhere deep inside, A little voice said, “Step aside!” I dropped the book and backed away— The dictionary had something to say! It cleared its throat, adjusted its spine, And said, “Your question’s rather fine. But dictionaries tell you words— We don’t investigate cats or birds!” [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Excuse me, did you speak?” It said, “I’ve talked for nearly a week! Nobody listens anymore, They search online and shut the door!” [Chorus] Does a cat have nine lives? Nine lives, nine lives? Does a cat have nine lives, Or is somebody telling lies? Ask the dictionary, Now it’s come alive! But even Mr. Dictionary Can’t explain those lives! Nine lives, nine lives, The mystery remains! Perhaps the cat knows everything But likes to play these games. [Musical Break – The Dictionary Takes the Stage] “Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to introduce myself! I know ‘aardvark,’ I know ‘zebra,’ I know ‘zigzag,’ I know ‘zeal.’ I know ‘catastrophe’ and ‘caterpillar,’ But nine cat lives? That’s not my deal! I define! I clarify! I spell! I pronounce! But counting cats that won’t sit still Is something I renounce!” [Verse 3] Just then a cat came strolling in, With whiskers high and quite a grin. It jumped upon the dictionary, As calm and cool as it could be. I asked, “Excuse me, is it true? Have nine whole lives been given to you?” The cat just yawned and licked its paw, The cleverest answer I ever saw. Then off the shelf another book Leaned forward just to take a look. An atlas whispered, “What’s going on?” The dictionary cried, “Oh, please move on!” [Bridge] Maybe some things stay unexplained, No matter how much knowledge we’ve gained. Maybe legends need some room To dance around from room to room. And if a book can come alive, Why worry whether cats have five, Or seven, or nine, or twenty-three? There’s stranger stuff in front of me! [Big Final Chorus] Does a cat have nine lives? Nine lives, nine lives? Nobody knows, but somehow The legend still survives! Ask the dictionary! Ask it one more time! It says, “I deal in definitions— The cat is doing fine!” Nine lives, nine lives, We’ll leave the count alone. The cat walked out, the book sat down, And I decided to go home! [Finale] But late that night I heard a sound From the dictionary lying around. “Psst… come closer… I found something new.” I opened it slowly… There was one little sentence: “Never underestimate a cat.” [Cat: Meow!] [Dictionary:] “Precisely!” [Final Ensemble] Nine lives! Nine lives! Nobody knows if it’s true! But if a dictionary talks to you— You’ve got bigger things to prove! [Big Finish] NINE LIVES! [Cat:] “Meow.” [Dictionary:] “See? I told you so!”
