AFRAID OF FEAR I used to think that life was a railway, a line already drawn, a road beneath my feet that would carry me along. But life doesn't run on a single track. It never did. And somewhere between the plans and the things we never said, the points can change. And suddenly you're standing there, watching the road divide, wondering which way is yours and what you'll leave behind. I'm afraid of the truth. I'm afraid of what it knows. I'm afraid that every choice will cost me what I love. I'm afraid of fear. I'm afraid of what it knows. Because silence is a choice too. I used to think it wasn't. I thought if I didn't move, I wasn't choosing anything. I was wrong. The road kept moving without me. And silence became a direction. A quiet turn. A road I never meant to take. And now I'm afraid to speak, afraid of what the words might show, afraid the truth will tell me what my heart already knows. I'm afraid of losing. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid that all this silence has already taken something home. I'm afraid of fear. I'm afraid of what it knows. But life doesn't promise that the road will stay the same. It doesn't promise that we won't lose, that we won't hurt, that we won't change. It only gives us choices. And maybe that's the frightening part. Because I can blame the road. I can blame the silence. I can blame the things I couldn't say. But sooner or later, there is a moment when I have to choose. I will not defeat my fear. Maybe I never have to. I won't pretend it isn't part of me. I won't ignore the warning just because I fear the sound. Because sometimes the fear of living is smaller than the fear of staying still. And maybe that's what I have to learn: Fear can be part of the journey. Fear can tell me something. Fear can walk beside me. But I won't build my life around it. Because a life spent feeding fear will always make fear grow. And somehow, I'm less afraid of facing it than I am of becoming a prisoner of it. So let it come. Let it speak. Let it walk beside me. I don't have to defeat it. I just have to stop letting it decide where I go.
