**Verse 1** Yo, meet Jake, the man with the pentagram on a string like a pendulum Hanging from his prostate, When he swings his hips, oh, it’s a euphoric state, But his hyperextended hymen sealed his fate. Deep in his hind end, like the Grapes of Wrath, the colon’s in his can it as trashed, As his faith it’s all fun and games until , Till he stepped on a rake, caved in his face like a mace **Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, from pulling the trains, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon slash cut but When he farts, it’s a splash, hole in crack big mouth bass Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake like the Lord wake up” **Verse 2** Then came a lady from Lafayette town, With a tongue so long, it could knock you down. Les be Ann, they called her, a bouncing Betty, With a lap dance that could make any man ready. Between her legs, a snapping turtle’s looking clam , Jake couldn’t help but stop and stare. She shaved it clean, and it was quite the sight, But Jake’s pendulum still swung with all its might. **Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, yeah, he’s living on the edge, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon pledge. When he farts, it’s a splash, like a bass in a lake, Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Verse 3** Now here’s Harry, the hermit with the hairy lips, A lesbian’s licking ‘em, giving him the grips. She’s eating out his mouth like it’s a bush full of berries, Wishing it was cherries, but it’s just plain scary. She’s got a pet named Jake, the one-eyed snake, Bobbin’ for his Adam’s apple, for heaven’s sake. With a pendulum swinging, it’s a wild ride, Till he steps on that rake, and his pride’s denied. **Bridge** Jake’s life’s a mess, but he’s owning the pain, From the moose to the rake, he’s gone insane. Les be Ann’s tongue, Harry’s hairy lips, It’s a circus of chaos, with every single flip. The pendulum swings, the caboose is loose, Jake’s living proof that life’s abstruse. **Outro** So here’s to Jake, the man with the swing, From his prostate pendulum to the pain it brings. He’s a legend, a myth, a cautionary tale, Of a life lived wild, and a pendulum’s trail. Swinging his hips, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Final Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, yeah, he’s living on the edge, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon pledge. When he farts, it’s a splash, like a bass in a lake, Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Ending** so Jake’s story ends, like the life his but left behind his retired rectum as he gives his last shake steps on his final rake **Verse 1** Yo, meet Jake, the man with the pentagram on a string like a pendulum Hanging from his prostate, When he swings his hips, oh, it’s a euphoric state, But his hyperextended hymen sealed his fate. Deep in his hind end, like the Grapes of Wrath, the colon’s in his can it as trashed, As his faith it’s all fun and games until , Till he stepped on a rake, caved in his face like a mace **Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, from pulling the trains, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon slash cut but When he farts, it’s a splash, hole in crack big mouth bass Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake like the Lord wake up” **Verse 2** Then came a lady from Lafayette town, With a tongue so long, it could knock you down. Les be Ann, they called her, a bouncing Betty, With a lap dance that could make any man ready. Between her legs, a snapping turtle’s looking clam , Jake couldn’t help but stop and stare. She shaved it clean, and it was quite the sight, But Jake’s pendulum still swung with all its might. **Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, yeah, he’s living on the edge, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon pledge. When he farts, it’s a splash, like a bass in a lake, Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Verse 3** Now here’s Harry, the hermit with the hairy lips, A lesbian’s licking ‘em, giving him the grips. She’s eating out his mouth like it’s a bush full of berries, Wishing it was cherries, but it’s just plain scary. She’s got a pet named Jake, the one-eyed snake, Bobbin’ for his Adam’s apple, for heaven’s sake. With a pendulum swinging, it’s a wild ride, Till he steps on that rake, and his pride’s denied. **Bridge** Jake’s life’s a mess, but he’s owning the pain, From the moose to the rake, he’s gone insane. Les be Ann’s tongue, Harry’s hairy lips, It’s a circus of chaos, with every single flip. The pendulum swings, the caboose is loose, Jake’s living proof that life’s abstruse. **Outro** So here’s to Jake, the man with the swing, From his prostate pendulum to the pain it brings. He’s a legend, a myth, a cautionary tale, Of a life lived wild, and a pendulum’s trail. Swinging his hips, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Final Chorus** Jake’s loose in the caboose, yeah, he’s living on the edge, Did it with a moose, now he’s got a semi-colon pledge. When he farts, it’s a splash, like a bass in a lake, Now he’s got a skin graft, and his life’s at stake. Swinging that pendulum, feeling so great, Till the garden rake said, “Jake, it’s your fate.” **Ending** so Jake’s story ends, like the life his but left behind his retired rectum as he gives his last shake steps on his final rake
