Earl's Got A Pointer

[Verse 1] Dew dripping from the Hollywood sign, Earl walks in with jokes on time. Velvet in his voice, trouble in his grin, Says he’s got a pointer, wants to point me in. He keeps it well polished, keeps it out of sight, Claims it knows the difference between wrong and right. Everybody wonders why he stands so proud, When Earl brings his pointer, it can work a crowd. [Chorus] Earl’s got a pointer, long on reputation, Always aimed toward questionable conversation. Size doesn't matter, it’s the way you make your mark, But Earl’s huge pointer keeps us warm in the dark. Earl’s got a pointer, straight and full of nerve, Not sure what it’s pointing at, but damn, it’s got some girth. He lays it on the table like he’s making us an offer, Then whispers, “Careful, darling, it gets bigger when it’s warmer.” [Verse 2] Slow beat crawling underneath the smoke, Every loaded silence leads to one more joke. Earl leans closer, says, “Just follow where it goes,” Everyone requested touch so close He calls it an instrument, precise and built to last, move it left, move it right, move it a little too fast It rises to occasions when the pressure’s getting thick, A pointer with ambition and never blows too quick [Chorus] Earl’s got a pointer, long on reputation, Always aimed toward questionable conversation. Size doesn't matter, it’s the way you make your mark, But Earl’s massive pointer keeps us warm in the dark. [Bridge] Point it to the left, point it to the right, Earl insists he’s qualified to wield it every night. Maybe it’s impressive, maybe you can touch, Maybe Earl's pointer knows too much. [Final Chorus] Earl’s got a pointer, long on reputation, Always aimed toward questionable conversation. Size doesn't matter, it’s the way you make your mark, But Earl’s humungous pointer keeps us warm in the dark. [Outro] Low lights, slow pulse, everybody knows: Where Earl’sbig ole pointer leads, good judgment rarely goes.